Dear person who decided that it was a very good idea to allow telemarketers to call cell phones.
I sincerely hope that during one of your boring, weekely, predetermined, missionary position love making sessions your partner moves funny and bruises your testicles causing pain and swelling for some reason just won’t get better.
I hope the swelling continues for days. I hope when you check your bank balance after the direct deposit of the check that pays you for the work you do to be the most evil and corrupt human being on the planet your balls throb as they strain against your cheap wool blend slacks.
I pray that every time your phone rings it is at least two half brain dead college kids desperately trying to pay for beer, tuition, weed, rent, pizza and more beer on the sub-minimum wage salary they earn. I hope they keep you on the phone trying to wrangle you in to answering a few questions about your satisfaction with your checking account. Did you know you just won 2 tickets to Cancun?? Did you? All expenses paid! Two tickets to Cancun! They just need your credit card number and your soul. Oh, right, you don’t have a fucking soul.
You will get so many calls that you will go over your alloted cell minutes quickly and then not only will you take it in the ass from all the telemarketers who want to tell you about this fantastic business opportunity but also your cell phone company will want to get in on the action.
It’ll be a financial DP and I hope I’m there to film it. The money shot should be killer.
I hate you.
On the bright side I get to freak out telemarketer kids. I’ve gotten 3 so far (and I’m on the fucking do not call list).
Monthly Archives: August 2005
every light post is a crucifix and every bridge has a memorial
So…busy!
1) dog park. Went with the new camera and shot some video of the dogs being dogs. It’s hard to capture ghengis in his glory as he goofs around out there.
2) ice cream social. I was disappointed that there was less adventure involved in finding the ice cream. Hell, they even put out signs directing us. On the other hand they had mint chip ice cream (the king of ice creams) along with cookies, sauces, clementines, peanuts and bananas. We had to listen to them talk about preserving the river gorge, but that’s perfectly fine by me.
3) Searching for the Wrong Eyed Jesus, a documentary of sorts about the deep south. It had some truly beautiful moments, but for the most part it was unfocused and without direction. Definitely a good watch though, if it comes to your town, catch it.
um..let’s see, what else.
Maddie has some seperation anxiety issues that are getting worse. Luckily, she takes to kenneling just fine and that seems to be alleviating some of the stress. You have never seen a dog get so excited when it’s owner comes home. I swear she’d come out of her skin if given the chance. I do think she was calmer today when I got home, if it’s because of the kennel then all the better.
We’re also working on her being less thuggish at the dog park and that seems to be going well. Now the only dogs she really wants to fight with are the ones that harass Ghengis.
Having one of those days where I worry about everything and question myself completely. My poor friends, they have to bear the burden on these days. Sorry guys. I’ll make you little canap�s with spanish queso de cabra and spiced apricots. (yep, thinking about party foods).
I know, I owe pictures. Sorry. Soon. Really. I’ll take a day this weekend and work on them.
yeah, I’m a tired tiger. chochobo!
amen
Like communion, every night he hands me a vitamin and the water and I take my vitamin and he makes me drink more water.
My space bar is still fucked. I need some compressed air or something.
Went to CompUsa and insisted that they give me my 16mb card for my new camera then I bought a 128mb card. I won’t actually use the 16 ever, but it was the principal. The kid PROMISED that the card was in there, even after I threatened to call him out to Thunderdome he assured me it was there. He was wrong. I had to drive all the way back there in the traffic and the heat and with all the same old music in my car. Also, everyone there was dumb. Really dumb. It was annoying.I was going to buy memory for my computer as well, but 1) he insisted that all mac laptop memory was exactly the same and 2) it was twice as expensive as anywhere else.
I love my bathtub. Ghengis is chewing on some sort of Nylabone fist of power.
Yesterday, one of my coworkers asked me if I was vegetarian since I was talking about tofu. I told him I was not, but didn’t eat a lot of meat at home. He said, “oh…i was gonna tease you with my steak…ha ha ha”. First of, I eat meat and that leftover, overcooked, cheap-ass thing you call a steak would tempt no one and secondly, what a fucking foul thing to do. What, you think you;re the big man because you can tease a vegetarian with meat? Someone who chooses to not eat meat is not going to feel bad that they can’t eat your microwaved nastiness.
grrr. He’s also one of the guys that can’t figure out that the bright red flashing symbol on the copier might actually be directing him to action and not just warning him to take cover. Also, he spent 20 minutes trying to fax his resume yesterday and it would not work. He blamed me, said I broke the fax. I faxed immediately before him and then immediately after him. I had no problems. He insists that everyone be aware of his masters degree in english education. That’s all well and good, mr 3rd rate security guard at a 2nd rate midwestern college, I’m glad you’re doing something with that. I dropped out of college and still I can fax, photocopy and I make more money than you.
You shot for the moon and landed on someone else’s roof.
Why am I ranting about this guy? Who knows.
oooh! myth busted! My coworker went to buy a car the other day. Brand new expensive mobile. He makes good money, has excellent credit, middle aged white guy. A loan officer’s wet dream. He got financed through the same credit union I did. My interest rate offers were 4.99% on a 5 year and 4.75% on a 4 year. He was offered 6.25% and 5.75% respectively. What the fuck? I’d say it was the cleavage, but the loan chick couldn’t see me through the phone.
Tonight was one of those nights I wish I had musical talent. Also, the french toast with fresh cranberries at the Hard Times Cafe is really really good.
Tomorrow is the ice cream social! I hope we find it!
So Spoiled
I’m sospoiled with my mac. there’s so much plug and play going on here that I have pretty much forgotten how to configure things. I don’t really know how to configure a wireless card on a pc. Sad. Spoiled. Wish I could be of more help to the boy.
Ghengis is a year and a half now, and still I love watching him sleep. So peaceful and calm. Unlike earlier this evening when the two of them worked together to destroy a newspaper by the front door. Thanks, guys, you could have atleast shredded it small enough so the vacuum could get it. Sweet angels sleeping, giant monsters when awake!
So, in a fruitful turn of events…
I’d been researching digital cameras lately. I like mine but it’s pretty old and has plaster dust inside the lens and I miss/like the Canon I used to have. I did some reseach, found a nice, no-frills Canon in my price range with the features that I want. It’s not top end, it’s not low end, it’s a quiet and affordable upgrade from what I have now. I found the best price online (which would have made me buy the camera with a color sheen on it instead of standard brushed silver – ouch – silver was more expensive) and was going to order it. David had to run to CompUsa to buy a wireless card for his PC and I tagged along as the promise of mexican food was hanging in the air. I’m easily bored and I wandered off. I found my camera, but the price tag kept talking about the printer. I was confused. I looked and read and tried to interpret what was going on. The price was the same as the color models only this was in silver, so I was prepared to buy I just needed to figure out this weirdness on the tag.
The weirdness is that this is a close out, they’re getting rid of the camera AND the printer and all for the price that I was willing to pay for the camera! Go me. Only problem is that I have to take the demo which means no boxes and all the documentation about the stuff is in a fed ex envelope and the memory card is missing so I have to go back tomorrow, but I’m okay with that.
So now I need to figure out a way to set up my printer so I only have to plug it in when I need it. I don’t want to be attached to a printer all the time.
The cool thing is, I was just lamenting that Inever print up my digital pictures and I would love to just fill frames and put them all over the house. I could have a wall of dogs! I could have a ledge of vacation shots! I could have a special butt potato area.
The possibilities, like my posts, are endless.
In other (party related news) I have been given a list of desserts and tasked with the impossible job of paring it down. it’s hurting me.
I also might wait to fill the fish tank until after the party just to give myself the extra room in the living room.
I don’t think I can go camping until after the party, i just don’t have the time! Oh well, party first then camping.
Tonight for dinner I had the most delectable chicken mol� enchiladas! I love love love mol� sauce and this place had the darkest, richest, tastiest mol� i’ve had in a long time (word of warning, avoid Pepito’s mol�, it’s bad). While eating my dinner I got to watch the Latin American version of MTV (though not MTV proper, which I think has some sort of Latino version). The first hour had the perfect blend of boy band knock offs, Beyonce knock offs and Cypress Hill knock offs. The second hour was “MUY CHIDO!”. I don’t know what Chido is, but I’m pretty sure it involves 5 guys in cowboy hats and an accordian. I think the ‘MUY’ refers to their waistlines, but I could be wrong about that.
Jesus, I have so much to do! Anyonewannaclean my house for $12 cash and a black cherry yogurt?
Todo con medido!
woo-cho-bee
So much going on this week including (but not limited to) the secret hidden River Gorge ice cream social. You have to find it and when you do you get an ice cream treat! Pictures!
Why do i promise pictures? I don’t know! I never get around to posting them. I never posted my key west photos, I probably never will. I suck. Camping ones have to go up. House warming party pictures are already intimidating me.
I need a band of oompah loompahs to do my picture work.
Remember the show “My Two Dads”? What a fucked up premise that was. ‘Sorry kid, your dead mom is a slut, we don’t know which guy is your dad and even though we live in one of the most medically advanced countires in the world we won’t actually find out.” I’m pretty sure I wasn’t gay before I watched that show.
Before I went camping my mom gave me a compass that you pin on your shirt. I wore it religiously and pointed people to north as often as possible (seriously, I only have 3 talents and none of them are useful in the woods…oh wait, I can email from the woods!). I pinned the compass to my purse as we were driving home. It’s still there. I’m still pointing people north.
A promo for the next ‘Fresh Air’ on NPR just played. It was about a guy who joined the army to pay for college and right before he was discharged he was sent to Iraq to fight a war he didn’t believe in and now he’s upset. I’m sorry, I don’t care for this war, but seriously, getting to pick and choose what you believe in before you fight is sort of antithetical to the whole ‘army’ thing. If the army wanted you to have an opinion about what wars you might believe in they would have issued it to you when you joined. You cavalierly joined the army thinking you’d get an easy peacetime ride to the front steps of your college education. You figured ‘meh, we’re not at war and besides, wars are easy in this neat new modern era.’ Don’t get pissed off that you were wrong. If you join the army you have to assume you will be called to fight in a war as that is the essense of the army. You can not get a job at Exxon and then be all offended that they’re raping the winderness or something.
If you don’t want to fight in a war, don’t actively pursue a job where they teach you to fight in a war.
My car payments get sent to a credit union with the longest name on the planet on a road with the longest name on the planet. They sent me mailing labels but I forgot to bring one to work.
I’m off to the farmer’s market and national night out (we’re taking back the streets from gentrification!) and doing some laundry and maybe buying jeans. phew.