The terribleness

The terrible thing that david does
by Heather
The terrible thing that david does is he feeds me ice cream but he makes me take bites that are too big for my mouth. My mouth is small and too much cold ice cream makes my teeth hurt. Also I get it on my lips. This is the terrible thing that he does and someday I might kill him in his sleep. Or not.
It’s good to keep him around since he can lift and carry things (like me).
He asked if I wrote terrible things about him.This is the terrible thing I wrote.
In other news…
Maddie’s seperation anxiety is reaching all new heights. Tonight he ate through the bars in her kennel. No lie. We call the vet and ask about pills or something. She needs to be comfortable and happy when I leave home, she also needs to not be destroying things.
Went to see Dance in the Dark. It was fantastic to watch. I’ve never seen many dance shows, I always feel there is something fundamentalabout it that I just don’t understand. I usually like them when i see them, I just feel like I could be getting more out of it if I understood it better. I’d tell you to go see it, but it was the last show. You lose. I win.
okay, this is MC 900 foot bubbo signing off and heading to the bed! Goodnight my chochachos!

my morning in hell

Met Alan and his new girl at Hell’s Kitchen for breakfast this morning. I got a glimpse into why people accept the shitty generica of the suburbs, it took me 30 minutes to find a damned parking spot and it wasn’t exactly close by. Luckily there wasa long wait and Alan got there early enough to put his name in but notso early that he lost the table because we didn’t get there in time.
Sure, the food in the suburbs is shitty and generic but at least you havelarge, easy to maneuver parking lots to negotiate. I don’t know, the whole neo-pseudo-fusion cuisine trend isn’t really sweetening the downtown deal for me.
The food was marginally good but somewhat gimmicky and overpriced. The waitress was a peach, though, and she had the best eye shadow. When I asked about it she told me it was PowerPuff Girls body glitter! I’m on it! I have almost $300 worth of MAC makeup sitting in my bathroom but I’m totally gonna go buy $2 kiddie make upto complement it! Go me.
Alan’s new girl is totally sweet and a lot of fun! Just a doll. Good for Alan I say!
Fringe Festival is goingon right now. Saw the Scrimshaw Show the other night, I’d give it a 75% funny, but also sort of predictable and a little flat in places. The interpretive to that fucked up Toby Keith song about Uncle Sam and his boot up someone’s ass was fucking hysterical. I’d never heard that song before and the only thing I can say about it is that I am shocked and surprised that it can be sung without the slightest bit of irony. It’s fucking beautiful satire without even intending it. And they say satire is dead in America. PSHAW!
At Balls last night they had Fringe previews for some of the out of town acts. If you’re in town you must go see Never Surrender!! They rocked harder than you can imagine. One of the funniest things I’d seen in a long time. The most talented preview, though, was Mythed. Funny, witty, smart as hell and super talented, very entertaining stuff and I hopeto see them.
This guy, not so interesting. I don’t know, he just sort of rambled on and on. It was totally that gen X/gen Y navel gazingwe’ve gotten so used to. He kept telling us he was in the top ten of the Toronto Fringe Festival and I figured that either said a lot about the quality of the Toronto Fringe or he was leaving out an important element such as ‘Top 10 Boring’ or ‘Top 10 Shows to see out of pity’. Perhaps I didn’t get to see enough in the 5-7 minute vignette and maybe I just saw the worst of it and the rest was a million times better.
Now we have to decide what else to see. Betsy’s brother is in a show, and I want to see that. David knows a few people either in shows or who have written them and I’d like to see those too.
Ah well, the day’s getting away from me and the dogs need to run and play at the dog park.
Today I look like a mongoloid Jeffy. I need a haircut!