So I got tagged by Dawn to do the ‘8 random things about me’ thinger. It’s not the 8 random things….it’s trying to find 8 people to tag!
The Rules:Once tagged, you must link to the person who tagged you. Then post the rules before your list, and list 8 random things about yourself. At the end of the post, you must tag and link to 8 other people, visit their sites, and leave a comment letting them know they’ve been tagged.
hmmm randomness
1) when I see bumper stickers I often want to append things to them. “and your mom” is always my favorite option. For example, yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that said “I (heart) rhythm gymnastics”…’and your mom’. “Free Tibet”…and your mom. there’s also a lot of bumper stickers that say “Have you hugged your kids today?” to which I want to add a second sticker, “no? well I have!”. See! the back of someone’s car would tell you that the driver hugged your kids and is bragging about it!
The only bumper sticker I would never change is “My other ride is your mother”. That stick is perfection itself.
2) when i was a kid I hated oatmeal. It tasted like 12 simultaneous asses. Now, I eat it. I eat a lot of it. Of course now I don’t eat crappy quaker quick oats. now it’s all organic rolled oats because that’s how I roll (ha ha). As a child I also hated onions, olives, mushrooms, and bell peppers. There were many struggles at meal times. I still hate those things. Hate.
3) Warrantless wire tapping pisses me off to no end. I guess that’s not so random, anyone who knows me knows of my almost spiritual love for things like due process.
4) I hate Oprah. She used to be a trailblazer. Now she’s just making money rubbing the butts of suburban housewives. She used to make a difference, now it’s just “10 foods to keep you healthy” “the same ten foods in different order to make you feel better” “9 of the same foods plus a new one to eat for longevity” “10 currently popular foods” “I am on yet another diet!” “10 foods to avoid and the sketchy science behind these claims”. It’s cheap pandering. The ROI in this must be fantastic for her.
5) Once the cover of Cosmo promised to teach me to have 2 different kinds of orgasm and the secret new ways to achieve this nirvana. I was so…excited. It was almost as if someone offered to me pants that fit correctly! I snatched it up while waiting in line. I flipped to it. I think David was not as interested. I wanted to learn this in the checkout line, bag the groceries, run home and bag this new physical shangri-la.
These weren’t 2 new orgasms! These were just the 2 regular kinds of orgasms! They weren’t new techniques! These were the techniques we often engaged in!!! Then I remembered that Cosmo markets to 17 year old sluts in training, not 34 year old retired sluts.
6) The death of Ghengis is still the absolute hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Childhood, gawky teen years, my divorce, losing my house in the divorce, all of it was hard. Losing Ghengis? Indescribable. Truly. The anniversary is coming up. It scares me.
7) Fall drains me. I feel like Persephone descending. In the spring, I rise again.
8) I believe in my heart that it would be possible to exist on an ice cream only diet! I know this can happen. I’m gonna do it or die trying.
okay, there. I’ll have to add tags this afternoon because I need to go take a shower and go to work. How does that make you feel? I wrote this post wearing only my robe and my stink.
Bonus random fact: my belly button has a funktastically bad smell. I wonder if I can claim I have a light refreshing odor if my belly button smells like this.