The problem with getting old is that you sit down to watch Juno and you’re filled with the urge to tell every goddamned person in the film to shut the fuck up.
So I did a thing, I turned 42 this year. We were in Louisiana visiting David’s family and friends. For my birthday David took me out to Ship Island, a place that means so much to me. We walked up the beach until we found a quiet spot away from the crowd. We swam and ate and played. This time I put on my goggles and snorkel and went to float on my belly. The world became silent and close. David grabbed my feet and floated me around as I relaxed in my oceanic cocoon.
When we got back to David’s parents house we found that his mom had set up a little birthday dinner complete with brownies and 2 kinds of ice cream.
Birthdays after about 36 or 37 don’t really seem to matter as much unless it’s a ‘milestone’, like 40. I turned 42 and it wasn’t a big deal but also it was perfect.
As a bit of a side note… there was almost no life in the waters where we were swimming. No crabs, maybe 2 comb jellies, no periwinkles on the beach. A sheepshead fish followed us a bit but there was nothing to stir up for him to eat. Weird? Sad?
From Maddie’s perspective she has 2 jobs. One is to get as many be-bys (as in be by me. be-bys) as possible with me and to keep me safe. She guards me, she puts herself between me and the world and she does an excellent job. She has earned many peanut butter biscuits for her efforts. And this is what I see…
I see her little piggo tail, it’s how I know I am safe.
A year ago we found out Maddie has cancer in her bladder. I expected it would happen sooner or later, she’s an old dog. We took her off the prednisone put her on piroxicam because it’s good at reducing inflammation. The tumor in her bladder was causing constant bladder infections and piroxicam can sometimes reduce the size of the tumor. I read up on it, it seemed like a 50/50 thing for shrinking the tumor and it would be good with her arthritis. Much to everyone’s surprise the piroxicam didn’t reduce the tumor, it got rid of it. She still has the cancer in the walls of her bladder but the tumor is gone.
I AM NOT in any way touting piroxicam as a miracle drug. It had a 50/50 chance and it worked out for us. I did a lot of research and I tried to be very realistic about what might happen on the piroxicam. I was not keen on switching her off the prednisone, which had kept her healthy for many years, and putting her on a new drug. I did a lot of research and worrying. But it worked and I am grateful.
Maddie is 14 years old. She’s headed to 15 years. She is 14 years old and she has cancer in her bladder, she is losing some control over her back legs, she a little noodly in the head sometimes. She is Maddie