when I grow up I want to drive a Chocho Road Brick.
So what do you do after 4 nights in the woods? You stay in bed too long, you wander over to get coffee and waffles, you try to catch up on your emails, you try to describe what it’s like to be on a completely calm lake after sundown watching the stars and listening to the loons calling to one another on the next lake over.
Work in the morning? I suppose. Sigh.
Okay, house warming party time. Must get my plan in gear. Must get menus and schedules and things together. If you’re coming in from out of town, consider bringing a sleeping bag! Pre-party brunch at Cupcake! Be there!
One time I stood in line for over an hour to get Milli Vanilli to sign a photo. This was after their downfall. There was not a single person in this very long line that was there for any reason other than to snicker.
Oooh also, aquarium time.
bed time, i’m all disconnected and not making sense.
later, chochachos.
Monthly Archives: July 2005
Lord what a foolish girl I am
Amen.
Man, what was I worried about? That trip was freaking amazing. I didn’t die, I didn’t get seriously injured (though I am bruised all over), I survived.
I have many stories to tell, I’ve seen the most amazing things. I had one of the most beautifully romantic moments I could have hoped for.
And I learned a very valuable lesson. I’m not just soft, city-fied and useless. I’m not slow or lazy. I’m strong, I can do hard things.
Still, though, pretty miserable in the cold rain.
more later.
yeah…okay…finally
Feeling better about things. Got a lot of untapped anxiety floating around that keeps trying to attach itself to things like “i will suck at camping” and “maddie will feel abandoned and freak out and hate me” and “why won’t this stomachache go away!”
so, did the dishes, talked to 8 million different members of my family, took an unreasonably long shower.
David called to assure me that things would be okay, and he promised to keep me safe.
Now, if only i could get to bed.
Be good to each other, chochachos! and like I said, if I never post again, you can assume I’m dead.
Hold my head, love, I’m sick tonight
Today really wasn’t any better. My stomach hurts like you would not believe. I hate this. I hate having anxiety about things like this. I travel better than anyone I know, but this is different. I’ve never done anything remotely like this.
So yeah, I’m going to die in a place where no body will ever be able to find my body.
But I don’t feel any better today and the crises haven’t really lessened. My phone rings but I can’t answer it. I just sit there and stare at it from across the room.
I’m dumb.
But we’ll focus on the good.
My invitations came back from Dena, the pretty printing princess! They’re wonderful! They’re delightful. They are already in the mail because I’m good like that.
I hit Surdyks wine sale today. I figured it would be easy on a Friday afternoon, but I’m not so bright. Super packed, super overwhelming…BUT I did good. 1/2 case of Beaujolais Village (shut up, alex) for cheap and another mixed case of this that and the other. Mostly Proseccos, Sp�tleses, and Sangioveses, these are the things I like the most. Not too light, not too heavy, easily match most of what I serve and let me tell you, there is nothing like cracking open a Sangiovese and drawing a bubble bath and chilling with a good book.
Man I wish I had time.
I talked to someone today who didn’t warn me about bears or mosquitos or anything, she was so positive. She loved the BWCA in all ways and gave me good advice.
Okay, I’m off to do dishes since they don’t really clean themselves.
Stop punching me
Fuck.
I’m just having one of those evenings where every new moment brings stunning levels of fuckedness. All I want right now is for my dogs to calm down, for Bill’s Garden cashew chicken to arrive and to not have to run interference on what should be a non-issue since everyone is pretty much agreed on the root of the situation.
In like 36 hours I have to head out and do something i’ve never fucking done before and live in the woods and while I am excited by the potential I am ground down by anxiety. I’m well aware of how unathletic I am, of how out of shape I am. I do not look forward to being the one to fuck up this trip in some way.
gaw. I just want this whole post to be one long scream at people. I am one giant exposed nerve. It’s pms, it’s current stress, it’s having to deal with stuff from the past, it’s shuffling through my pictures trying to find something and running across a series of my cats that I lost in the divorce and the house I lost and all the things I had to change or fight or give up or shut my mouth about.
It’ll pass. tomorrow I’ll write something goofy about how stupid I am for overreacting to stuff and I’ll make a joke about things and say ‘ha ha ha I’m off to die in a place where they’ll never find my body”
And you’ll laugh too and say “that heather, she’s so crazy!”