my impending death

I dreamt I was going to be killed. I was in a room with 4 or 5 other people, captured and held hostage by mob types with guns. 2 were taken out of the room and killed. I’d been through this before, I knew that what you had to do was hold your head just right. They would think they had shot you, but would have missed. You could play dead, they would leave and you would survive.
I tried to explain this to the others, ‘just do this and play dead and you will survive’. They didn’t believe me, they didn’t want to try.
I wasn’t even sure it would work a second time. I waited to be taken away. I was terrified. I fidgeted constantly in my dream, trying to calm myself, to absorb the situation.
It bothered me that I could not just accept this fate. I knew I could not escape, I knew I was going to die, I KNEW that once I died everything would end and there would be no more anxiety or fear or pain or whatever. I understood that after I was killed things wouldn’t necessarily be better (they would not be anything, I do not believe in any sort of afterlife or reward or anything), but they would be over and therefore not BAD. I just couldn’t reconcile this. I didn’t want to die, regardless of how un-bad it would make things. The other people seemed calm and reserved, why couldn’t I be more like them.
Perhaps my mind is telling me to relax? I’d say that’s a sure bet. Is this an indicator of where my anxiety levels are registering? Probably.
So, while other people dream of flying or sex or the moon, I dream about having my head held down and shot.