I am never bored anywhere: being bored is an insult to oneself. ~Jules Renard

Holy crap I’ve been bored at work lately! My boss is about 32 seconds away from having his second baby being born and after the initial crush to get all the projects finished so there were no loose ends while he was gone I’m left with not much to do beyond my regular stuff.
So I email and read people’s websites over and over (keep updating, i need new things to amuse me) and I’m researching all kinds of things.
I know about as much as I can about setting up aquariums, I relearned everything I learned before and learned a few new things. I know the ammonia ~ nitrite ~ nitrate cycle like the back of my hand.
The skin on the back of my hand is weird and dry because I am hugely dehydrated. I’m dehydrated to the point where my skin is rash-y. Too much coffee, too many cold pills, not enough water and the BC pill are conspiring against me…and by ‘conspiring against me’ i mean ‘being ingested by me with no regard to the consequences’.
The pill’s still maaking me overly cranky. Few more weeks of this with no consistent relief and I talk to the doctor about other methods. The coolest thing about the IUD is that they don’t know why it works! It just does! I think this might be a great, non-hormonal option for me. No, I’m not worried about long-term effects, it was just 1 IUD that was problematic and the stats were minimal. The other’s are just fine.
When I take my dog to the pet store he gets to the end of his leash and scrabbles about wanting very much to get somewhere but the leash and the polished floors prevent him from making any progress. He never stops trying, though, he just keeps excitedly running in place. There’s a metaphore here, i need to flesh it out a bit. I look at my dog and I know what it’s like to be…SOMETHING!
I’ve also been investigating and researching sociopathic behaviors and disorders. Fascinating stuff to read, but also disconcerting when you start to think about the people you know.
And then there’s Key West! I learned that it is illegal to honk the horn on your scooter in key west for your own amusement! You could get ticketed for it. It’s also illegal to stuff manatees in your pants, even if you are wearing giant clown pants. My plans for this vacation include: eating seafood at every meal, eating lime popsicles, sending coconut postcards, snorkeling and catching sea turtles and putting them in my pants (also illegal but smaller than manatees and possibly easier to hide), relaxing, taking 1.3 billion pictures, calling David regularly and being sad for missing him, having a panic attack on the 7 mile bridge, having an ice cream at sunset, and catching up with Alex.
Also, let’s all welcome Baby Gabby!! Alex is a proud new uncle and I can’t think of a luckier niece!
Completely unrelatedly (just so there’s no confusion), I once saw a manatee fart. It was in a tank at ‘The Living Seas’ at EPCOT. He was just happily rolling around in the water and he let one rip. I was proud to be part of that moment.
I just went to look at the EPCOT center website to make sure it was called "The Living Seas" (it is) and I was totally reminded of how much i love Disney World. i don’t care for Disney so much as a whole, don’t really like their movies (except Lilo and Stitch) or anything, but I totally dig the whole Disney World thang.
I’m so bored that I’m making SpongeBob hump the giant orange on my desk. How gay is that?
Also…I just read the term ‘mall-punk’ and i thought it was a strangely apt description for those trite, polished, calculatedly smooth punk types. You almost feel like there’s some mathematic equation to their tattoos or something with points for edginess, size and placement. To be clear, i’m not opposed to tattoos as such, tattoos are fun and someone is finally designing the t-rex tattoo of my dreams, it’s just some tattoos are more calculatedly hipster than others. Spend some time at a music festival sometime and count how many of the exact same shape you see. It’s mathematics I’m telling you.