“Depend upon it that if a man talks of his misfortunes there is something in them that is not disagreeable to him.”
Samuel Johnson
There are those of us who are listeners and dispensers of advice. We are the people that others go to when they need their problems put into perspective or they need advice on how to proceed. We are the one who can look at a quandary from all angles and make suggestions from an objective point of view.
It’s not bad work.
In fact it can be rewarding to see that advice you give fingered to life by this other person.
There are those people, however, that come to you with their problems, their needs, their complaints. They come to you and you listen and ask questions, mull things over and give advice and where most people would consider this advice and perhaps even go with it, there are those whose only reaction is to argue.
They have problems, but they also have an almost bottomless bag of reasons why they cannot move forward and fix these problems. You, the giver of advice, will find yourself in an exhausting race towards a moving finish line. You can’t keep up. Every solution you give is fraught with danger.
And then you realize that it is inaction more than anything that the person with the problem craves. And, as Samuel Johnson so eloquently put it, there is something not disagreeable to the person. They enjoy being where they are. They don’t complain about their problemns because they want resolution, but they complain about their problems in the same manner that we might speak of our vacations or promotions. They are the best things these people have.
A thank you to Alex for reminding me that sometimes it’s not my fault that I don’t have the right answers. Sometimes, the right answer just isn’t,
I was just chatting with a friend recently about the reasons people complain about trivial matters… in other words, considering how many people do it and how often, there must be something inherently pleasing about it. I think you articulated that pretty well.
That was me.
Jeebus, miss Bucket O Chicken Nite and she brings out the long knives!!!1
hey meggers! I just know so many people who come and ask for advice or complain about their situations but just will not do anything about it. Every damned suggestion is met with an excuse. It’s way tiring.
well, anna, maybe you won’t miss bucket o chicken night again!