revelation

Fellatio Horn = Stevie Nicks and/or Fleetwood Mac
This is what happens when you’re both tired and trying to recall all of the “Behind the Music’s” you’ve seen.
and…Finally saw ‘I <3 Huckabees'. Go see it. Jesus is mad at you!

how bad again?

So we were standing around listening to him ramble on and on like he does, mostly justifying how he can’t possibly be as bad as people think. His main argument being “well, I’m not as bad as so-and-so” and “at least i don’t do ‘this or this'” and I was finally forced to tell him “just because you aren’t hitler doesn’t doesn’t mean you aren’t mussolini”
It’s a line I’ve used before on people, I think it’s pretty accurate.
Thing is, I’m pretty sure this guy might be the hitler of work. He was wrong about not being as bad as so-and-so, and he does things far far worse than ‘this or this’. There might be a bloodless coup, which would sadden me, as I love to watch the blood flow.

Cornucopis

So the other day I send the boy to the grocery store with a list of 5 items to pick up 3 of them for the breakfast I am making in exchange for his trip to the store, one item for dinner and 1 snack. The grocery store is 6 blocks away.
He comes back 90 minutes later with 3 bags of groceries (and I’m dying of starvation at this point). He picked up 4 items on the list and substituted a healthier snack for the doritos I had on the list.
And the nice thing is that he totally gets this healthy grazing food, I mean not like super-healthy snack food or anything like that(cuz i like healthy and all but I’ve got my limits, I don’t want to live forever and I want to actually have fun eating the stuff I eat before I die), but that sort of low key healthy stuff like cottage cheese instead of ice cream (I keep us stocked in that, don’t worry), tortilla chips and salsa, just whatever. My point is, he is the king of buying the food you can graze on so I can just wander into the kitchen, eat a few bites of cottage cheese and move on, wander back in and have a couple tortilla chips and do my laundry, stuff some of those mini carrots in my mouth and then go read.
Maybe I’m just fascinated with this in the same way that I’m fascinated with someone’s kitchen when I go visit their house, they have different food in there and you want to try it. I have different food here and I want to eat it.
I also think that he got these things so he’d have stuff to eat when he was over since I don’t really grocery shop all that often and tend to just get things as I need them.
On a semi-related note, how did our parents manage to keep a fridge full of food and not have it all go bad all the time. Seriously, I get eggs I use a few and 27 weeks later I realize I have these eggs that went bad months before sitting in there. I’ve completely stopped buying milk for this reason, and I’m constantly throwing out jams and salsas that are like 87 years old. How did they get that old? I’m not even that old!
AND people find it upsetting when they come over and I don’t have things like milk or ketchup. I don’t like milk, i don’t drink it, I don’t buy it. Ketchup is fine, I use it if it’s there, but I never have this overwhelming urge to eat ketchup so i never think too buy it. Does ketchup go bad? We’d find out if I had some. I also don’t buy soda, I don’t really drink it anymore, not for any healthy eating reason, I just don’t think to get any and when I do have it I never drink it (soda doesnt really go bad though, that’s nice) and the problem with that is that I never really have anything to offer my guests to drink when they come over…”I have um…water…wine, and um…scotch to drink”. In fact, now that I think about it, I’m pretty lacking in the whole beverage arena. I don’t drink soda, juice, kool-aid or milk so I don’t have them in the house. What the hell do people keep around to offer to people in the way of beverages?
Lastly, I went to Aldi for the first and last time last night. That place was so ghetto even the ghetto would be scared in there. They offer an amazing assortment of off-brand (they call it private label) products designed to look exactly like name brand products. Everything in the store had this creepy vibe to it and they don’t bag your groceries. Not like ‘they didn’t put my groceries in bags’ but more like ‘they don’t even have bags to put my groceries in’. Aldi = wrong.
Okay, I’m off to clean up the mess from the impromptu dinner party last night.

sigh

The biggest disappointment is when you excitedly open the “After Dinner Science” set after being promised that you will learn how to use science to stretch a banana! Stretch. A. Banana. Can you imagine? I couldn’t! The boy even picked up a bunch of bananas so we could stretch bananas all night if we wanted (hi mom! science!)…
Anyway…I open the “After Dinner Science” box hoping to spend the evening stretching bananas and I come to find that it only teaches me how to create the illusion of stretching a banana mostly by pretending to stretch the banana. What the fuck??? I already knew how to PRETEND to stretch bananas! I can PRETEND all kinds of things.
How do they expect kids to learn? All kids are going to learn from this is that science isn’t about learning, it’s about pretending, and eventually it will be about hitting the Jack Daniels regularly to cover the stench of disappointment and lost dreams.