sigh

The biggest disappointment is when you excitedly open the “After Dinner Science” set after being promised that you will learn how to use science to stretch a banana! Stretch. A. Banana. Can you imagine? I couldn’t! The boy even picked up a bunch of bananas so we could stretch bananas all night if we wanted (hi mom! science!)…
Anyway…I open the “After Dinner Science” box hoping to spend the evening stretching bananas and I come to find that it only teaches me how to create the illusion of stretching a banana mostly by pretending to stretch the banana. What the fuck??? I already knew how to PRETEND to stretch bananas! I can PRETEND all kinds of things.
How do they expect kids to learn? All kids are going to learn from this is that science isn’t about learning, it’s about pretending, and eventually it will be about hitting the Jack Daniels regularly to cover the stench of disappointment and lost dreams.