I have the coolest friends ever. Period. My friends kick ass and that’s the way it should be. If you don’t kick ass, rock hard or generally bring me joy, then you can’t be my friend.
And when the revolution comes, if you aren’t my friend, I’ll try to find you a position cleaning my hippo stables or something.
p.s. I think i’m gonna need a clubhouse or something for me and my special friends.

Let me make this clear, I’m laughing at you, not with you. I mean for fuck’s sake, man, it was SHAMPOO!!!
Still laughing.

Silly Mark he called me a sensible woman.
I am many many many things, I’m sure you all have some choice titles for me. This is the first time I’ve been called a sensible woman.
I feel sort of dowdy.

You know how when you are leaving somewhere you kinda stop caring about things? Yeah, that’s me at work.
When you combine my winning charm with my intense apathy it makes for some interesting office politics. I pretty much respond to every request with “I don’t really care” and varying volumes and level of whine.
Also, I’ve been here in this position for 4 years and today the director of development came up to me and introduced herself to me. Um…we’ve met, I’ve been here for FOUR YEARS, we work together, we gossip at potlucks, my office is directly below hers. Still, she told me it was nice to finally meet me.
I guess it is possible for one person to care less about their job than I do. Hard to imagine.