This is just one more in a long list of reasons why I need to leave Minneapolis and get my ass to Baltimore…
!!!BOB EVANS!!!
Seriously, there is no place in Minneapolis to get good biscuits and sausage gravy!! What’s up with that, people?? You can go places that offer ‘biscuits and gravy’ but it’s just some shitty, second rate brick-like biscuits with some sort of white sauce that seems to fulfill the role of ‘gravy’ in their eyes.
Pfffffffffft.
Bob Evans is a purveyor of overly moralistic family values, oversized meals of questionable nutritional value and the best damned biscuits and gravy I’ve ever had. Daaaaang.
There are no Bob Evans’ in Minnesota or anywhere nearby, there are, however, something like 6 of them in the vicinity of Baltimore. This is indeed the sign I was looking for.

I threw my last Minneapolis party last night. It was a surreal experience to say the least.
I have a bruise the size of Arkansas on my upper arm, I cut my head open at my hairline and I have a tender bump on the top of my head. All of this is in addition to the wicked hangover I’m nursing because I broke all of my drinking rules (water between each drink, don’t mix alcohols, no sugary drinks), and I managed to keep every tobacco company in the US in business for one more year.
I’m gonna have to say that if ‘ouch’ is any measure of success, then this was the king of parties!
I’ll miss you all!