Proximity: A Response

Mr./Ms. Cerebellum,
I am appalled that you would think that it is not proper for one to revel in his or her own dreams.� If my desire is found in my dream state, why couldn’t I enjoy that?� Why would that be a bad thing? �
I’m sure this poor ‘steve’ character does not deserve your e-abuse, and I will never visit your site again! :[ �
Good Day Mam/Sir, �
Concerned reader.

Proximity

Generally, in any given situation, I’m the one who causes everyone else to be uncomfortable. Today, at lunch, I was trumped by one of my officemates.
He told us about his dreams. Good lord.
The second dream had him careening wildly about in a child-molester style van with Kid Rock in the back. His lack of dream state driving skills ended with Kid Rock being bisected in a gory accident.
This doesn’t bother me so much, in fact, I can only hope that he has some sort of precognition and this dream will come true. I’ll buy him a chocolate malt if it does.
The other one makes me want to invest in a cattle prod to keep him at a safe distance. In this dream he was riding in a beautiful royal carriage as part of an extravagant wedding procession. His lovely bride? None other than Alyssa Milano.
We all have dreams that we’re not proud of. We all have dreams where we find ourselves in compromising situations with people we would never admit to in social situations. Steve, on the other hand, was very pleased that Alyssa wanted to join in holy matrimony with him and, subsequently (I assume) get her consumation on with him.
I work with a man who revels in his delusions on a nightly basis.

Playing Favorites

Hey, look at what I found via Mark’s website!
At this moment, what is your favorite…
1. …song?
Pearly by Radiohead
“That’s where she got her sweet tooth for white boys”
2. …food?
Right now I’m just gonna have to say bbq pork and milkshakes and puffy cheetohs.
Welcome to pms where becoming orca fat and being housebound for the rest of your life seems like a viable option.
3. …tv show?
hmmm…I’m one of those assholes that doesn’t watch tv, but not for moral reasons or anything. I just don’t watch it because if I did i would watch too much and never get anything else done. When I did watch tv, it was mostly nature shows. I’m a dork, what cann I say.
4. …scent?
Sandalwood. Yum.
5. …quote?
For such a little woman, you are so full of misery

I can see you again

My glasses broke while I was on vacation (more on that later). I was never particularly fond of those glasses, the bows didnt have hinges, just flexible metal. One of the bows finally snapped off. Anyway, since there were no hinges, the bows never fully opened all the way and you couldn’t put them on with just one hand. This is something you don’t consider until you are flying down the freeway and the sun is setting and you need to change from sunglasses to regular glasses.
The good thing about those glasses was that they were so light you barely noticed them.
So I got new glasses last night. I’m pretty apathetic about the new ones. Not particularly fond of them, really, but they work. They have hinges, which is good, but they are heavier which has been irritating all day. Also, i don’t really care for how they look. But that’s its own issue.
I am pretty much incapable of picking out clothes or accessories for myself. When i pick a new shirt or pants or something, people remain politely silent. When I wear something that jen picks out for me i get all kinds of random compliments. Hairstyles that I pick out are greeted with indifference at best, so now when I get my hair cut I just tell my stylist to do his magic. I trust him because it works. So I was looking at glasses last night. Everything I picked was either too expensive or deemed not right for my face.
So I have my new glasses and they work and all, they just pretty much look like my old ones, which I didn’t care for.
Sigh.

Tight Squeeze

I have this fun habit of never ever deleting phone numbers or email addresses, especially phone numbers in my cell phone. Any time I get someone’s number I throw it in my phone book and save it. makes ofr a fun game when you look at a name and cryptic abbreviation next to it trying to figure out who it is and what the abbreviation means.
Don NV?
John C H 2???
What the hell. It’s a fun game. Anyway i went to add a new number to my phone book this morning and i was out of room. Sad. I finally gave in and got rid of all the numbers i knew I would not be using any time soon or ever again. Goodbye Matt, Don, Donn, Dan, John, James, Daniel and Stella. Not only does this clear up space in my phone, but it also helps (just a little) to prevent that annoying habit I have of sending text messages to the wrong people because i can’t be bothered to look closely enough at the phone before I send.
Okay, that won’t actually get better. Word to the wise, if my message to you is cryptic or apropo of nothing, then it was probably not for you.
If you’re bored, send an email to my phone, cornmeal@plinko.net! It’ll be fun and I’ll respond.