I have the coolest friends ever. Period. My friends kick ass and that’s the way it should be. If you don’t kick ass, rock hard or generally bring me joy, then you can’t be my friend.
And when the revolution comes, if you aren’t my friend, I’ll try to find you a position cleaning my hippo stables or something.
p.s. I think i’m gonna need a clubhouse or something for me and my special friends.