I am a meme whore

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Instructions:
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
No.
Explanations.
Clipped
From
Lily
Here’s mine:
1. Yourself: round
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): amazing
3. Your hair: porcupine
4. Your mother: supportive
5. Your father: supportive
6. Your favorite item: hoodie
7. Your dream last night: 727
8. Your favorite drink: coffee
9. Your dream car: BMW
10. The room you are in: mine
11. Your ex: orange
12. Your fear: loss
13. What you want to be in 10 years? adult
14. Who you hung out with last night? family
15. What You’re Not? perfect
16. Muffins: buttered
17. One of your wish list items: books
18. Time: construct
19. The last thing you did: exhale
20. What you are wearing: hoodie
21. Your favorite weather: spring
22. Your favorite book: Mieville
23. The last thing you ate: chip
24. Your life: consistent
25. Your mood: calm
26. Your best friend: surprise
27. What are you thinking about right now? answers
28. Your car: irritating
29. What are you doing at the moment? answering
30. Your summer: rocked
31. Your relationship status: wow
32. What is on your TV? predator
33. What is the weather like? cool
34. When is the last time you laughed? hour

free form fun photo

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Let’s look at photos, shall we?


This is my boyfriend. My boyfriend is amazing for any number of reasons. Over the past two years he’s innumberable things to make me happy, to see me laugh, to help me feel better. When I was depressed and sad and completely filled with grief over the loss of my Ghengis David went and shaved his beard off leaving this incredibly sexy porn mustache. Every time I looked at him I laughed. He even went to the OPH with it. He held me when I cried, he rubbed my back and wiped my tears…and he wore a porn-stache for me.

The new little Chester kickin’ it puppy style.

Best buds in a matter of minutes. Also seen in this photo: the crazy pink sheets we got in NYC. Our bedroom is like a cheap bordello now. Not pictured: the dwn comforter which at the time was in the dryer because Chester is still learning to control his systems (you can see the sleeping bag I was using to stay warm while I waited for the comforter to dry).

this is them, the ones who make me happy and give me reasons.

Welcome Chester

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This is Chester. He’s a 6 month old rat terrier and corgi mix. He’s very sweet and a little shy and he is the newest member of the family. I was a little worried that Maddie would be defensive about a new dog in her home but I was wrong. Maddie is thrilled peachy to have another little dog to play with. I really underestimated how close Maddie was with Ghengis and I underestimated how much she missed him. Maddie is nothing but happy to have this little guy here even if he is too shy to play right now.
And, let’s be honest, it’s doing me a world of good to bring some happiness into my home. I won’t stop grieving for Ghengis for a long time. I really loved Ghengis with all my heart. I just want to funnel a lot of that energy into something more positive than crying jags and hiding from the world. I am not moving on from Ghengis, I don’t think I ever could, but I am adding to my heart another dog.
And you can’t argue with loving another dog.
Oh, also, as much as I would have loved naming him Riblet, David just did not like the name. This dog is ours to share and we had to agree on the name and Chester it is.
Please welcome Chester to the family.

Slowly

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Slowly I begin to breathe without the drawn out exhalations. I can wake up without the flood of pain. I can tell stories about my little fella without breaking down and sobbing.
Mostly.
Logic dictates that time will take care of this and I know this is true and so I wait patiently. I pay attention to the phases of grief. I analyse every laugh and every light conversation.
As I come up for air I remember things. Chicken came back. Then Chicken left again. Grellow lost a bit of his tail in the lid to the aquarium but he’s no worse for the wear. David’s family is all in town this weekend. It’s the middle of November and the temps are in the upper 40’s. So strange, so very strangely warm.
I received so many emails and notes from people. I really appreciate every kind word said, every tear shared. I cannot replace Ghengis ever, but one day there will be a new little dog.
And I will name him “Riblet”