Category Archives: Doogles

Perspective

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My friend, Dave, emailed this to me in response to the previous post…
So – you named the puppy after a Mongol leader who is most closely associated with bloodthirstiness and barbarism.
Foreshadowing?
And then you wonder why he destroyed his newest toy?
Yep, as I sit here surveying the mess that one toy can make, I sincerely regret not naming him ‘Roger’.
This week’s limited highlights in cryptic, un-ordered list goodness…
* First dates rock
* Second dates rock just a little more
* Many many many birthdays to deal with
* I’ve been sleeping too much this weekend. I’ve started feeling guilty if I sleep too late. I need to stop that.
* ‘Big Lebowski’ is still a solidly good movie. In fact, it is and ever shall be my favorite.
* I’ve been cooking more lately. Last night was veal scallopini in a lemon sauce (mmmmbutter) with roasted potatoes. Tonight is pork tenderloin with spiced pumkin goat cheese and some sort of potato, probably roasted again. If I have enough pumpkin left over i’ll make a dessert with it, but really, do we need a dessert with it being halloween? there’s a ton of candy just sitting here.
* Speaking of halloween candy, Target was WIPED OUT of their stocks, I was almost forced to buy that big mixed bag of shitty candy that no kid wants. Luckily, I found good stuff and I will avoid having my house egged again this year.
That’s all, boring week, not much going on. I’m off to get ready for a birthday then halloween dinner.

SCMODS

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Happiness is watching the spaced out joy on a puppy’s face as he chews a rawhide 10 times too big for him. Happiness is the 90 minutes of peace this buys me.
The sucky think about being ‘mostly recovered’ from your alien strep infection is that you forget that you still need to rest. I went out this morning, ran a million errands, came home to do laundry and I’m exhausted. So I’ll rest a bit and then continue on with my Saturday ‘chores’.
It’s been classic October weather, blustery, chilled, rainy and grey. It’s sort of depressing, but it also puts me in the mood to cook. Tomorrow is total roast chicken dinner day. The weather reminds me that I can’t do another winter in Minnesota, i just don’t have it in me to deal with it.
I finally harangued T-Mobile into giving me the big big discount I wanted on the phone I wanted. Had them note the credit on my account and headed to the store. They don’t have the phone in stock, they don’t know when it will be in stock. Dammit. It’s the cheapest phone they have that has the 2 features I need, custom ring for each caller (not call groups) and the ability to be used in Ireland. It also has a camera, can’t seem to avoid that, so I guess I’ll be camera phoning it and you know that what means, another empty promise to post more pictures on here.
Okay, enough pointless rambling. Laundry, nap, knitting and roasted pork ribs for dinner.

Decisions

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If you are undecided about what to have for lunch and think “I’ll hold up my options and whichever one the dog noses first is what I will eat.” don’t thrust 2 cans at him quickly. It only confuses him and he runs away. best to put them on the floor and let him get to know them naturally.
He picked the soup.

Dear Ghengis

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When you have children you take lots of pictures of them, ostensibly to preserve the precious memories. This is a lie, not a total lie, but close. You try to get in there a few good incriminating pictures. You know the ones, they’re all sweet, in the bathtub with a cowboy hat on, or shoving a pen up their nose or something along those lines.
You take these pictures because you know that in 10 or 12 good years the rebellion and betrayal kicks in. The fighting back, the bad attitude, the slamming of doors. As a parent you bide your time because you know that a couple years after the rebellion kicks in, so kicks in the dating phase. You get to meet the prospective girlfriend or boyfriend and suddenly, you have all the power you lost when the great hormone imbalance of the western hemispere kicked in. You can pull out those pictures and show them to the date.
Nice
Problem for me is, you’re not my kid and you’re not going to date (sorry about lobbing off your balls like, but you have to admit, the complete lack of humping is nice…right?).
You’re in your teen months now and rather obnoxious. Since you won’t be bringing a sweet little girl puppy home for me to meet, i thought I’d make your humilitation public as revenge for…
* destroying my sunglasses
* devouring countless rolls of toilet paper in the hallway
* chewing my underwear
* eviscerating a pillow on my bed as I slept (just how the hell did you do that??)
* chewing the tongue out of my favorite boots
* chewing my favorite sneakers
* chewing up my security blanket
* not only destroying every toy i’ve bought you but doing it in such a way that the entire floor gets covered in the excelsior
* pulling up the carpet
* eating out of the cat box
* causing a bruise the size of Kansas on my upper are. Twice. (same exact scenario both times)
* peeing on my comforter
* eating a dead bird you found in the yard and then immediately drinking out of my glass
* devouring my socks
* crawling into my lap for a hug and immediately farting (i really hate this one)
* methodically picking the fur off your stuffed animals and leaving it everywhere
* dog breath
So, here you go. Your dignity for the world to see…

I’m particularly fond of this one of you peeing. I think it captures the humiliation I’m going for.
Okay, that felt better
xoh