chica mala

Today I saw a headline that made me laugh ut loud. I’ll never reveal to anyone this headline because it was actually a very bad thing, but for a brief moment, everything that is snarky and mean and cynical just flew forward and I laughed.
Part of this is the fault of the headline writer, it was crafted in such a way to feel like a headline straight out of the Onion.
But let’s be real here, I can’t blame the hacks at cnn.com, the responsibility lies within me. I laughed. I laughed because I thought it was funny and I’m laughing right now thinking about it. But I’ll never tell.
And, to do a complete 180…
I fucking hate Anthony Bourdain. I really do. I cannot stand him. I hate him more than Emeril. I think he’s a jackass and a shit. The entire premise of his celebrity is the fact that he smokes and scowls and wears jeans and is a complete jackass. You know how much I despise Emeril, right??? RIGHT???? Well I would far rather spend an hour with Emeril pretending to be nice than 12 seconds with Anthony Bourdain. I hate him.
Phew, okay, that felt better.