I’m becoming a jerk

I am so totally becoming this jerk person. I’m becoming the kind of jerk person who I didn’t like when I was a kid! Remember when you were a kid and you felt that if a rule was unfair you shouldn’t have to follow it? Also, remember when you laughed at honor boxes because who would pay if no one was watching you? And remember there was that one adult that would explain that not liking a rule doesn’t make it unfair, and even if a rule is unfair you still have to follow it and you should always pay the honor box even if no one is looking not for fear of getting caught but because it is the right thing to do?
I have become that adult. Luckily I have not reached the crazy, irritating self righteous stage where I feel the need to point out when people are not following the rules. Also, I still drive too fast so I’m in no position to be vocal about judging anyone else’s scoffing of the laws and rules.
I even feel bad, not guilty just bad, when the cashier forgets to ring something up. I was packing up groceries one day and noticed I had forgotten 2 gallons of milk under the cart. At that point I could have left with them, but I didn’t because it was wrong. I wasn’t worried about getting caught, i knew I wouldn’t, it was just wrong.
Also, I always pay the honor box. Always. Especially at State Parks (which is where I run into most of them), mostly because it’s right, but also because I like funding the state parks system here.
If something has a pay option or a free option you are not allowed to complain about the free option (like a service or something). You totally have to pay in order to complain.
If you want the state to provide services you have to pay taxes. Also, even if you don’t use some of the services a state provides (public education, foster care, tracking the populations of walleye in obscure lakes) you STILL have to pay taxes for those things because we are a group, a society, we all live together and raising the quality of life for one person does help raise your quality of life even if you don’t see the direct results.
Unions = awesome. Actually, this has less to do with following rules than it does with my liberal leanings. It’s not like “big unions! YAY” but the idea of collective bargaining. The idea that unless the employees work together, they will lose all kinds of rights and benefits. Of course now companies like to say “oh! you want a union? you want to keep your health coverage? Fine, we’ll just leave! See how you like them apples!”. It’s a kind of blackmail. It’s a way of saying “you better take the $7 an hour AND the anal rape or we’ll go and you won’t even have the $7!” and that is wrong. It’s wrong in my “right and wrong” issue (of course it’s wrong in favor of employees, but you know…Minnesota). It is fine to make a profit on your employees, that why we have companies, but the profit needs to be proportionate to what they get.
Okay, I have to stop with the unions or I’m going to have unmarked helicopters over my house and I’ll be kidnapped, beaten and covered in Bush stickers.
Quantum physics? Wrong. Things don’t fundamentally change because you THINK they should. 10 dimensions? Wrong. You don’t get to make shit up to confuse people. What’s the point of 10 dimensions? Who is using all these dimensions? Can I get a refund on the dimensions I don’t use? The Uncertainty Principle? Don’t get me started. (obviously, this isn’t so much a matter of right and wrong as much as it it me being like those old people who were like “vaccinations? we don’t need no vaccinations! get your kooky vaccinations away from me”)
I listen to supreme court rulings to see how they line up with my interpretation of the constitution. I don’t like the idea of private gun ownership, I think it’s something of a monstosity, but I accept that the constitution is interpreted in such a way as to make it legal. You are just not allowed to bring a gun into my home.
The thing is, most old people would be like “what’s the problem, that’s what you are supposed to do.”, but it is a problem. The world should not be so black and white, there are all kinds of factors that weigh into situations. So far I’ve not lost the ability to look at a situation from all sides, but I fear that if this trend continues I will lose that ability and then I’ll be one of those rule nazis that everyone hates.
Hell, lots of adults bought me alcohol when I was underage (but in college) and I pretty much refused to after I turned 21. Now that is a jerk maneuver!
The other thing that makes me a total jerk? I’ve been considering going to a pet-loss grief support group but I can’t because I don’t want to be nice to other people. See I spend a lot of my time giving advice to people, being a sounding board for their ideas or just generally being a good listener. I love doing that, it’s something I am good at. The problem with a pet loss support group thing is that if you get support you must also give support, it’s the fundamental dynamic. It’s what makes it a support group and not just another room full of hostages. I don’t want to help people who have lost their pets. It’s stupid and mean and selfish of me, but I want to go there and be supported and leave and that’s wrong.
I don’t like myself very much when I think about the support group thing. I think I am being an asshole.