I want to touch your hot dog

I will share with you now 2 Chester stories.
1) Last night at class we had our mid term test. Each person and dog team had to make the dog follow certain commands for certain distances or time periods. We all know what’s coming so we all practice. I am pleased, Chester can hold eye contact for 10 seconds (we need 5 seconds), he looks at you when you say his name, he sits, waits, lays down and stays on command. I know we will have issues with the loose leash walking but otherwise he’s paying attention. I was worried about his ability to pay attention since he’d apparently eaten some treats, half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and dog food all in the hour between when David gets home and I get home. He’s supposed to be really hungry during class so that he will actually want the treats I am trying to give him. No matter, he’s following directions and I am feeling confident. The test starts okay. He comes when called, sits when commanded. When we come to the test where he is supposed to hold my gaze I decide to reward him right away during the test. Damn, he always looks down to chew so he kept breaking eye contact. I should have just held the treat.
He did okay with the loose leash walking and letting me poke in his ears and feet and stuff. Finally we get to the part where he has to lay down and stay for one minute. I’m happy because he does this well. He’s a pretty unambitious dog so he kind of digs the laying down thing. Except now he won’t. He will not lay down for love or money. I use the command, the hand signal, the treat. Nothing works. He will not lay down at all. We fail this portion of the test.
Joan, the teacher, gives me my grade and moves on to the next student. I take Chester to one side to practice things and there it is, a full lay down with back feet out to one side (as he was taught) and chin on the floor! And he’s holding it! He’s laying down and he’s staying and I call the teacher over to prove he can do it. But it’s just not enough that the dog CAN do it, he’s supposed to do it every time he is told to do it. Oh well Chester, we have the whole summer.
2) Chester is laying next to me in bed and I am petting him. David is laying behind me. Chester decides he wants pets from David and steps over my head but stops halfway, sits down, and rests his furry wiener on my cheek. Asshole.

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