A great big happy birthday to Anna! My lovely demon imp has her birthday today! We celebrated last night with copious amounts of thai food and liquor. Actually, Anna had copious amounts of liquor, Emily was on allergy meds and couldn’t drink and I’m just finding that I just don’t drink so much anymore. We managed to fulfill Anna’s greatest fantasy by watching dinosaur movies all night.
Hot!
Of course we must mix the good and the bad until we get a lovely life slurry! The compressor for the AC in my car went out. Pain in the ass. My car started overheating and at first I thought it was another leak in the radiator tube something, but I had that fixed last year. Process of elimination and all that and I’m gonna have to get my car fixed.
In yarn news: I have a grocery bag packed full of yarn for 2 new projects and the cool part is that I paid for none of it. I need to spend the rest of my life doing projects for other people. The yarn shop is going to have me ‘test drive’ new crochet patterns for them as well. Nice.
Monthly Archives: June 2006
you..uh..gonna eat that?
So the other night I’m walking my dogs and on the other side of the block is an old lady. I groan a little on the inside. It’s been noted here that perhaps my dogs are a little, say, energetic, and this is why I prefer to walk them at around midnight when there is no one around.
I’m also groaning because (as has been noted here) I am still recovering from hand surgery and I stupidly decided to take both dogs with me on the walk because i was feeling lazy, even though my right hand still has a tendency to let go of things like leash handles.
So, yeah, little old lady up ahead, the dogs are excited. She’s looking at me with some intense but perplexing emotion on her face. Is she mad at me? did she poop her pants? Is she one of Teddy Roosevelt’s scorned lovers?? I approach.
“mumble mumble mumble…poop?”
Oh my god! She pooped her pants and she wants me to help her! oh fuck, me and my unruly army of jackasses have been chosen by god to serve the elderly on some bizarre poop related crisis. I don’t even know how to help an old lady who pooped her pants. I decide to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe I misheard her, maybe she didn’t say anything about poop. Maybe she said something about ‘scoop’ as in ‘I know you love ice cream, let’s go get a scoop’. It’s a long shot but I look at her and say, “excuse me?”
“Are you going to pick up your dog’s poop?!”
Well, this was certainly unexpected. What is she asking me? Of course I pick up my dog’s poop, i’m holding a bag of it! I show her the bag, “I always pick up after my dogs”, smile smile smile!
Wait, why am I talking to someone about poop? I don’t know this person. When I don;t know someone I want to talk about things with a neutral odor like the weather or the moon. You know, things that don;t smell like fecal matter.
um…now she’s really looking angry. What’s going on. She points to the ground and says, “pick up your dog’s poop!!!”. I follow her finger to the ground. poop? there’s just a piece of a branch on the ground, it’s not poop. It’s poop shaped and poop colored and…oh! Yeah. Crazy old lady.
I’m standing on the sidewalk with two jackass dogs and a crazy lady blaming the vagaries of tree construction on my dogs’ anuses. I don’t even know what to do! How do I explain that this is only a tree branch and even if it was poop (which it most certainly is not unless that dog in question has some seriouss dietary issues) it could not have come from my dogs as we had just come upon this spot and my dogs’ buttholes are not equipped with Star Trek style beam up technology (as far as I know).
I look at her. I look at the poop branch. I consider my options.
I pull a bag from my pocket, use it to pick up the stick and thank her for reminding me to pick it up. We head on our merry way.
Sometimes the crazy people have to think they are winning. It’s the only way to keep the earth spinning.
pookacheeka
I was ging to post photos but the batteries in my camera died and I have to wait for them to recharge.
This and that, not much going on. David left yesterday and last night I was prepared to clean. I even started cleaning, but then I remembered that I could eat unhealthy amounts of meat covered pizza! I opted for that instead of cleaning!
My plan is to take one room at a time and give it a thorough ass kicking cleaning. Tonight I hit the living room and I am pretty sure it’s never been so clean!
blah blah blah David goes away and I’m reduced to discussing my cleaning habits. Someone told me that she thought I was lucky to have so much time away from him, so much time alone to do whatever I wanted. I thought that was sad. Having one weekend or a week here and there to myself is nice, but 5 or 6 weeks will leave me lonely and nutty. I thought that maybe if she wanted 6 weeks or more away from her boyfriend, if she so disliked being around him then maybe she needed to rethink things. I don’t know, that’s just my opinion.
Anyway, I get a little nutty when left alone but Alex graciously pointed out that I get constructive nutty. I’ll make mustard, jam and crochet projects! Photos soon.
What I Do
What I do:
A bulleted list
* I made mustard this weekend. That’s right, bitches, I threw down and called out my inner old lady and I made mustard. Mustard. It’s currently ‘aging’ on the counter. Tonight I will grind it and can it in little jars. This is a spicy german mustard. Other mustards to be made: horseradish, dill, curry, chive and cranberry.
* I will also be making jam this week. Strawberry ginger and raspberry spice.
* David is getting ready. He’s going. Sigh. He and Marshall are heading down to New Orleans tomorrow. They plan to take the sailboat out and explore the gulf. He will be gone for many weeks. I will miss him. Who’ll call me ‘Mubs’?
* Do not do that stretching thing where you interlace your fingers together, twist your hands palm side out and stretch if you have recently had surgery on your wrist. The pain can only be described as ‘sharp’ and ‘excruciating’. It will bring tears to your eyes. It will stick with you for hours.
* Went to Penzey’s this weekend. I used a gc from Alan and some store credit brought on by my dad giving me a Penzey’s spice gift set he’d already given me. I shopped like a FIEND. I bought things that I normally don’t.
* As such, if you would like to be invited over for ribs with a spicy rub, peppery pork chops or homemade italian sausage, let me know!
* I have too many crochet projects going at once. I need a good storage system to hold them otherwise my living room gets covered in all manner of half crocheted tidbits.
* Marshall is sitting next to me, he wants you to know how cool he is, he swears, he plays Go a lot, and he is wearing stripey pants. He owns a cute dog but his dog is not as cute as ghengis.
* I am going to miss the hell out of David. Anyone want to volunteer for distraction duty, let me know. I’m gonna need it.
* I have tons of photos that need to be posted. Soon. I promise.
Hero without a cape
Today is father’s day and I wish I could spend the day with my dad celebrating the day and thanking him for all that he’s done for me over the years, but he’s busy.
He’s busy being a hero. My dad flies Medivac helicopters, he flies critically sick and injured patients to the hospital when an ambulance would be too slow. He works very hard, he works evenings and weekends and for days at a time and he absolutely loves it. Thing is, this is his retirement job, this is what he does for fun now that he’s done with regular work.
I’m sad that I can’t see my dad today, but on the other hand, I’m glad that my dad is out there saving people and making someone else’s father’s day that much better.