wherein I ramble about my brain

First order of business, my caffeine intake. 4-shot americano in the morning, every morning. Then tea for the rest of the day, my cup at work is twice the size of a regular mug, so when I say I had a cup of tea, i really had two. Today I had a cup of earl grey, a cup of lemon mat� and a cup of green tea. I also had a diet coke. I have consumed so much caffeine today that my jaw hurts. If I don’t stop to open my mouth wide every few minutes my jaw clenches up and my teeth hurt.
Okay, so, let’s stick to the herbal teas for a while, shall we?
Okay, now I want to tell you about the all time ultimate anxiety dream. My dream starts out with me getting a letter from my old therapist, she and some social workers would like to come over the next day for dinner. What the hell? Okay so I have to think of something to make for dinner. Suddenly it’s the next day and I haven’t thought of anything! And I get a phone call from the community college saying that a bunch of kids have been signing up for classes and not going and the professors are going to sue the kids and by the way did I know I was registered for a bunch of classes and I am going to get sued if i don’t go?? Shit! So I go to the school and along the way I keep contemplating the menu for that night. The only thing I can think of is dessert, a chocolate ganache tart with hazelnut brittle except I KNOW how absurd that is. First of all, chocolate ganache is nice as icing or chocolate sauce but not as a tart and secondly, I don’t fucking know how to make any sort of brittle, I completely suck at candy making!
We’re not done yet.
So I get to the school and I get to the class and I don’t even know about the class or why I am signed up and the professor is at the front crying and there is one other girl there, but she’s only going because she has a crush on the professor and he knows it. So he yells at us.
When I go to leave, someone calls me over and says they have a problem with some students and they need me to diffuse the situation. There are two guys in the room, one is a kid i know from MCAD, the other is his friend. It seems the friend has a bomb and he wants to blow up the school. My job is to talk him out of it without seeming like I am talking him out of anything. In my dream I learn that you can buy a considerable amount of dynamite for only $30 and I make much of this in my conversation with him. Then I foolishly try to grab the bomb and run but he gets it back. Then I try to escape because quite honestly I don’t want to spend my day dealing with him, I have social workers coming over for dinner.
I try escaping again and get hauled back.
I finally run away and hide in a casino. The kid I know sees me, but pretends he doesn’t. I walk home still trying to figure out what to make for dinner. All I know is that I’m stuck with making individual entrees and not one big thing like a roast because I don’t have time. Steaks seem obvious, but I don’t want to make steaks as they seem so crass. Why do steaks seem crass? I don’t know!
I get to my place and on the way up the 5 flights of stairs I am trying to put on my new makeup and that requires watching a portable dvd player with instructions and I keep staring at this makeup set and wondering why I bought it since I already have most of the stuff and why won’t the dvd player work in the stairwell?
Once in my apartment things do not get better. My kitchen is full of people. David is there and he’s eating because he does not know that people are coming over. Lily is there to surprise me. Alan is there and he is in a wheelchair and he has a bad mustache. Why is Alan in a wheelchair? I don’t know but I’m freaking out about and trying not to stare at his mustache.
Lastly, my ex is at the stove making cranberry sauce and glowering at me! Why is she there?? Why is she glowering at me? What did I do? I need people to go to the store with me but the only person that wants to go is Lily but she doesn’t know where things are in the store!
People are yelling at me, I need to make dinner, i don’t know what to make and the phone rings and it’s the school and the kid has another bomb and can i help.
No, i can’t help because I woke up.
and that, people, is the ultimate, never ending anxiety dream in condensed format!
In other, uninteresting news…I keep crocheting, the dogs keep farting, I miss David, I need a million dvd’s.