What I love

It is apparent on days like today when anxiety creeps up and crankiness seeps out that I should focus on those things that I love.
I love being alone in the house for short periods of time. I especially love this when I am feeling motivated enough to get something done.
I love making up my own version of aloo mutter paratha (indian flatbread with potatoes and peas) for me and onion kulcha for him. I love the methodical act of chopping, of mixing up the spices, of heating the cumin seeds and mustard seeds first, adding the cinnamon, the ginger, the cardamom, the ground cumin, the cayenne, and the turmeric. Sauteeing the onions and garlic. I wanted potatoes and peas on mine (I don’t like onions). I had a small bag of potatoes but earlier today I discovered that the potatoes had died and leaked potato juice all over a bag of whole wheat flour. Had I put the flour in the cambro I bought for it this would not be an issue. I did not love that.
I didn’t have potatoes, but I did have tater tots. Yes, I took 6 tater tots, microwaved them, hacked them up a bit and sauteed them in a myriad of spices and butter. I put our respective toppings on our flatbread (tortillas, i’m so ghetto when it comes to cooking lately). I loved the process of making a vegetable biryani.
I loved having dinner ready when David got home.
I love my mug that says “please go away” and it has a bunny on it.
I love my dogs. Of course you know that because I write about them almost constantly. I love watching Ghengis navigate his world. He noses through his toy basket until he finds what he wants, he pushes the bad choices out of the way. Ghengis adores David, follows him around like..well…like a puppy. I love Ghengis’ little trot with his ears perked up.
I love Maddie for all of her whacked out attachment and loyalty. I love that she is the perfect size for cuddling.
I love tea with milk and sugar.
I love that even when I am cranky for most of the day David will still buy me an ice cream after the show just because I mention it.
I love that people would come in from out of state and even out of the country just to celebrate my housewarming.
I love when things fall into place.
I love Sebastian Joes mint mocha ice cream.
I love that David fixed my space bar on my computer.
Today, I decided I need to get better about sharing. I used to be good about it, then i stopped, now I have to get better with it. It’s like a habit or something, you get used to it but if you stop it’s hard to go back. Even simple things i’ve become very possesive and selfish about. And a good many of you are familiar with my ‘politics of ice cream rant. I won’t reproduce it here but suffice to say, no one has ever written more words on the issues revolving around a bite of ice cream.
Anyway, what I’m saying is that I think it would be good for my soul and my karma and my well being to share more.
Oh, and also, I think I just need to accept that sometimes I have bad days and it’s not because of any deep seated issue or stress or pms. It could just be because I’m having a bad day. I think I need to stop apologizing for them.
I love my bed.