An Order of Protection

Last night I related to David a situation I was in a year ago as an example of what we were talking about. I don’t think much of the situation, it doesn’t bother me so much, but I always forget that when I tell someone about it they get very upset and offended for me.
We talked about it again today, I told him how my friends always get upset by this story but I don’t. He said (and I’m distilling and paraphrasing quite a bit here, so David forgive me if it isn’t quite right) that perhaps my friends know that I can take care of myself physically, but I tend to not protect myself emotionally so they step up and do it for me.
Protecting myself physically is up for debate as I count the empty cigarette packs accumulating around me and I can calculate just how much coffee I will need to survive a day after 2 hours of sleep. As for my emotions, I will do what I can to avoid painful situations, even cutting people off before they get close to avoid the inevitable pain later, but once I’ve invested in someone emotionally I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the peace, even at my own expense (which is not to say there aren’t situation where I won’t put the smack down with a quick righteousness, but thankfully those situations are few and far between). Also, since I tend to take a harshly realistic view of myself, lots of things just can’t get me. You can’t insult me by calling my ass big if I’m the first to tell you that it is.
And here are my friends, taking offense for me, getting upset on my behalf, wanting very much to protect me and keep me safe.
And I do appreciate it, very much so.
I recognize that someone has to do it. In that vein, I am as protective, if not moreso, of all my friends. It’s my job and I take it seriously.
So, to all my friends who have over the years defended me, hurt for me, held me while I cried and called me to make sure everything was okay, I love you and I appreciate you and I’m sure I’d not have survived without you.
Unrelatedly, (or maybe relatedly, in spirit if not topic) I’ve been terribly busy lately, not had time to post or email or take calls or any of those simple things that I KNOW I am supposed to do to be a good friend and all. I am very sorry, I’m trying to rein my life in and storm track my head. Soon soon soon, things will get back on track and maybe I’ll even tell you what I was so busy with.