Octopus Jive

Spoober: I like my soap, it makes me smell nice
ME: I am an octopus I can squeeze you
Spoober: sure you are, how many limbs do you have?
ME: I am a mollusk
Spoober: really? tell me more
ME: I am soft bodied and shell free
ME: I am as smart as a dog and I fit in jars
Spoober: very nice
ME: though I spend my day aimlessly roaming I can still find my way
home in a straight line
Spoober: very good!
Spoober: why is that?
ME: because I am an octopus!
Spoober: I know, but is there a reason that you, as an octopus, can find
your way home in a straight line?
ME: because I am smart, I have a good landmark memory.
Spoober: ah, that is very nice.
ME: I eat crabs
Spoober: just crabs?
ME: no I eat fish and squid and other juicy treats
Spoober: isn’t squid a cousin of yours?
ME: yes the squid is also a mollusk
ME: as is the cuttlefish
Spoober: hmm, so do you eat other octopi?
ME: Sometimes I do
ME: they are tasty
Spoober: fascinating.
ME: when my babies are born I will perish
Spoober: I know, Neptune died that way. :(
ME: but my babies will live on
Spoober: which is the beauty of it
ME: I think it is a good argument for celibacy if you ask me
Spoober: maybe you should start an ad campaign like that.
Spoober: don’t have sex because when you have babies you will starve yourself and die