last night I dreamt our fathers were gods misguided in their efforts to destroy all that was in the world to make a safer place for us, their offspring.
I was in the juice aisle at the grocery store last night looking for some cranberry juice. I was reading labels and whatnot because it seems that the only place I can get 100% cranberry juice with no other juice added and no added sugar or anything just 100% juice from cranberries is Whole Foods. I was trying to find the bottle with the largest proportion of cranberry juice. Apple juice is not cranberry juice, white grape juice is not cranberry juice…and you want to know something else? High fructose corn syrup is not cranberry juice.
What the fuck is high fructose corn syrup doing in juice?? It doesn’t need to be in fruit juice, fruit juice is already sweet. Ah, yes, corn is cheap, hfcs is cheaper than juice. So just use some fruit, some water and a lot of hfcs and sell it as juice. It’s cheaper that way. But that’s just the problem isn’t it? When i go grocery shopping I can afford to look at labels. I can afford to buy the juice, the spaghetti sauce, the bread, the lunch meat, the WHATEVER that doesn’t have all the hfcs and other crap packed into it.
But what if you can’t afford that? Pretty much only Classico and Newman’s Own are the only pasta sauces that do not have hfcs or a ton of other sugars, thickeners, binders, bulkers or whatever. Those sauces usually go on sale at 2 for $5. The Prego sauce is packed full of everything you can’t pronounce and goes on sale at 4 for $5. When you are stretching your food budget to the limit you can’t afford to be too picky.
go look at bread ingredients sometime. compare them by price. The less you pay, the more ingredients you get. How ironic.
When people say it’s hard for poor people to eat healthy, they aren’t just referring to the price of fresh produce vs ramen noodles. It goes way beyond that. But hell, everything marketed at kids with a kick to parents (fruit snax made with real fruit juice!) are almost always something like 2% juice, 90% hfcs 8% binders.
I don’t know, i think it is time to take back our food in some way.
I feel honored and quite loved because my sister bought me the BBC documentary, Life in the Undergrowth based on just one scene of slug sex. That’s it. She saw the slicky entwinings of a pair of hermaphroditic slugs getting it on and insisted that this would be the best present ever for me. She did not even know that I’d had it on my wish list forever!
slug sex. Nothing says “I know you so well” like slug sex.
also, much more to say, not enough time to say it. later later later.
last month I got Joe Jackson and Jackson Brown all mixed up in my head (joe jackson has a higher rating of suckage).
I also get Dan Fogelberg and John Fogarty mixed up all the time. This happens because I am a retard. Remember when Lola Granola had the tattoo of Dan Fogelberg in a scandalous place on her body? Yeah, well up until about 30 minutes ago I always pictured John Fogarty and never thought about it. John Fogarty makes sense in a bad boy tattoo on the ass sort of way. The very fact that Dan Fogelberg does NOT makes sense is what is funny. I just get them mixed up all the time.
Oh, also, Dan Fogelberg died. When I read the headline I pictured John Fogarty and boy…was I confused when I read the list of famous songs. There you have it.
Also, I fixed the comments snafu! Feel free to comment…unless you are a damned spambot trying to get me to lengthen my penis and have trashy orgasms
It’s been 12 days since my last entry. Busy. Tired. Busy. Tired. Let’s just do a wiener list and get it over with
- Saw Jonathan Coulton live n the 6th. The room was the largest gathering of ADD, Aspergers, nerds, geeks and awesome I’d ever seen. His live version of Mr Fancy Pants was a billion times more awesome that the version linked. He had a pre-programmed Zendrum that said a lot of pants!
I could go on forever….his cover of “Baby got Back” “Skullcrusher Mountain” his very creepy and somehow so perfect “The Future Soon”.
But also, Neil Gaiman was at the show and sitting directly in front of me. I had no idea. I just thought he was some wiener who couldn’t put his damned PDA down. Also, but butt touched his head once. HA! (don’t take it hard, I loved American Gods even if it struck an amazing resemblance to Mieville’s King Rat)
- I am in the midst of crocheting 8 million mittens! All are original designs except the skull and crossbones mittens (well, I designed the mitten and fixed the pattern on there but the skull pattern is not mine). I am down to the wire, one week left. My hand and brain hurt.
- It’s a good idea to hit the Surdyks wine sale at 8pm on the last night of said sale. There is actually room to walk around, the employees are free to help you, old ladies are not jamming their carts up your ass trying to get to the last sangiovese primitivo! But, on the other hand, it’s a bad idea. They were out of many of the things we had on our list including the Bonny Doon Pacific Rim Reisling and the Protocolo Tempranillo. Ah well, the staff pointed us to a few new selections and we got to shop in relative calm.
- My car is currently being a bitch and is on the verge of death. Asshole. I’ve been driving David’s car. It’s been interesting as I’ve only ever gotten lessons on a manual transmission from impatient people or drunk people. I’m getting better, but I wish I could put a sign on the back of the car telling people not to be a jerk to me just because I always stall at intersections. I should probably just wear a helmet and drool while driving.
- um…the dogs are good, the weather is cold, I have two pints of coffee heath bar crunch in the freezer thanks to the generosity of my awesome secret santa.