oh yeah?

Dear Citizens of Planet Earth
You are probably wondering what that 23% rise in planetary joy is all about. Yeah, you are. That happiness is my new dishwasher and the total erasure of that area of stress in my life! No longer will I ponder just blowing my kitchen up to avoid washing the dishes, Now I have a dishwasher!
I used to wonder how cavemen got by without dishwashers and I realized that that’s probably why they died out.
Oh, and for those of you who are like “dude, doing dishes isn’t that bad!”…Yeah, um shut up! okay, shut up.