holy crap! giant glasses!

Here it is, my late 80’s/early 90’s shame. Check out my supremely architected hair and glasses with lenses giant enough to fit the hubble space telescope.

Here I am at 15…possibly 16, at my younger sister’s birthday. Notice my swank Harvard sweatshirt (which I soon gave to a boy I thought I would love forever and broke up with weeks later. I never got the sweatshirt back). I was so proud of that hair. It took so much work. I swear I am responsible for much of the chemical pollution in the upper midwest. I used all kinds of crazy chemical madness in my hair.

Here I am at 17, hair shorter, not quite as big but still heavily laden with all manner of shellacs, mousses and gels. My sister, 2 years younger, has already surpassed me in height. She’s there (in the blue) with her high school boyfriend. They set me up on a date with a friend of thiers. I honestly don’t remember his name. One would think you would not forget a mullet of such amazingness….and yet… Also, I remember the first time I saw this picture after the dance. I wept quietly for hours hating myself for being so damned fat. I was prepared to never ever be seen by the world again. Now I look at that photo and wish I was down to the size.

mmmm giant glasses. The height difference between up is becoming even more obvious. What you can’t really make out in this photo is that I am wearing a pair of patterned green silk ‘hammer pants’. Okay, they weren’t quite hammer pants, they did not have the long, draggy crotch or anything just that same sort of style. I always wanted to be elegant as a teen. Can’t you tell?

Longer hair, more giant glasses, baggy betty boop shirt. Amazing. Luckily, the 90’s happened and we turned away from ceiling scraping bangs and elaborate curling iron gymnastics, on the other hand, for no reason apparent to anyone, I still have a ton of mousse and hairspray in my hair.

My sister emailed these pictures to me the other day, they make me laugh. Man, sometimes I miss how self conscious I was back then. I worked and worked and worked on being pretty. Now I’m just wondering if it is important that my clothes match.

7 thoughts on “holy crap! giant glasses!

  1. . . . and yet still present is that deadly jackal-grin of rapacious glee, only with BIG GLASSES.

  2. I just wonder if my clothes are on rightside out. Every so often I find my shirt is inside out and I’m at work.

  3. luckily most of my shirts button or zip so I’m not so worried about the inside out thing…every once in a while my underpants are on inside out, but that does not bother me so much

  4. I’ve met your sister and she doesn’t look a bit like Becky from Roseanne.
    So who is the blonde you keep referring to as your sister?
    Hmm maybe April is the love-child of you and that guy Jason

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