Yeah, i voted. I voted long and I voted hard. I voted until the electoral process ran down my leg. That’s how I voted.
For years Minnesotans chose between liberal and really liberal, even our ‘republicans’ weren’t real GOP republican, just fiscally conservative, Scandinavian none-of-my-business types. Lately it seems this precious and beautiful oasis of liberal thought and social safety nets has been invaded by actual conservatives (fuck you very much, Norm Coleman).
A state filled with unionized miners that understood that unions were good, that collective bargaining meant safe working conditions and living wages instead of getting fired the first time you complained about something. A state full of Scandinavians that kept their noses out of everyone’s business but still knew that quality of life was only as good as the lowest rung on the ladder, so they paid higher taxes and didn’t mind because it meant better schools, better social programs and a better society all around.
And it was so nice for a while.
Oh well, at least we’re not Wisconsin.
All in all things went okay. Most of the people I voted for passed. I voted against the transportation amendmentbut that passed. I’m not so worried about that, they’ll end up unpassing it soon enough. Our jackass governor got re-elected. The back of the ballot made me laugh, it was almost all unchallenged judicial seats. Most people don’t vote for the unchallenged people because it doesn’t matter. I totally vote for them because i fucking love to vote. I love filling in the circles (in minnesota we have simple oval-esque circles next to each of the candidates names, no chads to pop out, no marbles to count, no chickens to kill, just simple circle filling).
In other, non election related news…
The trifecta of the apocalypse is in motion…Doogie Hoswer is gay, Britney is getting divorced and Rumsfeld is out of a job. Could the world be any crazier or unpredictable????

aaaagh
This weekend I went to Target to get more underpants because when you have a Ghengis nearby you will always lose some percentage of your underpants. He’s better about it than he used to be, but still, I’m losing underpants. The last time I went to get underpants they did not have any of the brand I usually buy. Being dumb and naive I assumed that this was some sort of fluke, like a hijacked truck or a cambodian factory disaster.
This time I went back and they were gone gone gone. Gone. Further research on the web tells me that Jockey has completely discontinued the Formfit line. How do you kill an entire line of underpants??? WHY???? My underpants!!!! They were all cottony good and they were cut nicely and fit well and never snugged up on me or stuck out of my pants.
So I was left to view my options. Much of the problem lies in the elastic band. The Formfit elastic band was completely covered in the same material as the panties and stitched in such a way that it didn’t rub on you funny or leave icky dig marks. Also, the band was not so wide, it was narrow.
My too options were thus:
1) a narrow band of cheap elastic with stitching on the side that touches your body
2) a too wide band of uncovered elastic that will only get folded over in as I move my body.
Or my third option were some hideous man briefs made to look like tighty whiteys.
I went with option 1 as they were slightly cheaper and the band was narrower and I have a pack of the option 2 and really don’t like them. Option 1 (Hanes) sucks hard. The elastic band bites into my skin, the fabric is thinner, I’ve gotten suggies. Goddammit. All I want are the perfect underpants! and I had them! and now they are gone….gone…
Now, I would not want you to think that the only thing from inside my pants to disappear was my underpants. No, it’s not. And if you are squeamish and don’t want to hear about tampons or my vagina, you should stop now.
Remember when you first got your period and you tried a few options to see what worked best? Tampons, pads, liners, pretending nothing was happening? In some health class I got one of those flower covered lavender pamphlets about my uterus and all the beautiful ways it would betray me for the rest of my life. It was put out by Tampax so I used Tampax first. Not knowing any better I assumed tampons should be uncomfortable and hard to use, but somehow more grown up than just pads.
As time went on and I got my hands on more disposable income I tried out various options. Price, comfort, leak control and most importably, the ease of depressing that fucking plunger. You don’t think about it until you’re sitting there in the world’s most awkward position, but if you can’t get a good grip on the outer sleeve of the applicator then there is no way you’re pushing that plunger in.
For a while I settled on Playtex. They had plastic applicators with rounded ends. They inserted easily and the rounded plastic ends actually opened easier than the rounded cardboard ends (which were thicker and stiffer). They also came in “ultra super massive mega absorbent” which was important.
On a few occasions I found myself unprepared and i had to borrow a tampon from a friend or my sister. invariably they had the teeny tiny plastic wrapped bullets known as o.b. tampons. There’s something vaguely hippy and wholesome about the o.b. tampon, especially since they didn’t come with applicators which are apparently notorious for cluttering landfills.
I loved the o.b. tampon, they were so comfortable, they expanded just right and they almost never leaked. Unfortunately, that ‘no applicator’ business was just hard. I never mastered exactly how I was supposed to finesse this thing into my body without making a mess. It was bad.
Then they came out with the o.b. with APPLICATOR and my world was fireworks and naked lady dancers and drunken tigers on beach balls. It was that good. For years my vagina and I were getting along great, it would gush, I would plug we’d get through it.
Then, it ended. They stopped making the applicators again. Perhaps they hated me, perhaps they wanted to get back to their hippy roots, perhaps they were just evil wanted to hurt me. Whatever the reason, I stocked up on as many boxes as I could find, but still it wasn’t enough. Time marched on and my uterus and vagina were relentless in their monthly sloughing and flowing. I tried a few brands and settled on Kotex. They fit the bill okay I guess, but they’ll never bring back those magic days.
Is it wrong to mourn the passing of panties and tampons on the same day? I don’t know, but I do know that if you don’t vote on Tuesday NONE OF THIS WILL GET BETTER!!!

I got some good advice and I think I got the issue with IE fixed with this site. Of course, if it isn’t fixed those of you on IE won’t see this message and be able to say “hey, you’re wrong, it’s not fixed!”
Who knows.
My opinion on the Saddam thing? Bread and circuses, that’s all any of this is anymore. Celebrating his conviction is like celebrating Monday. Did you think it wasn’t going to happen? They could have brought him up on charges of jaywalking and found him guilty and sentenced him to death. Now, please, don’t misinterpret this and think I am a Saddam supporter or I think his conviction was wrong. I think he is a terrible human being, and while I oppose the death penalty in theory I can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. All I’m saying is that regardless of the correctness of the situation, it’s just a smokescreen, an illusion used to divert our attention. He was never NOT going to be convicted just like Monday is never NOT going to happen.
Bread and circuses, that’s all.
Now I’m off to buy cricket food and mealworms and touch the little bunnies because they are softer than you.