You know how you get your fortune cookie fortune and you automatically add “in bed” to the end because even if you grow up enough to not drink to excess you’ll still never be truly mature?
Today my fortune said:
Love does not always wear a friendly face
…in bed?
What is my fortune telling me?? What the hell? I’m locking my doors and sleeping with a baseball bat. I don’t know what the chinese confectionary industry has in store for me, but I’m having none of it!!!