Do you want to know what kind of person I am?

I’m the kind of person who would drink a gerwurtztraminer with a green curry!
Yeah, bitches! I stood there in front of the wine rack trying to pick a wine. the gerwurtztraminer seemed kinda tacky but I was in the mood. Then I got all uppity standing there. I can drink whatever fucking wine I want!!!
and I did.
and it was good.
So was the curry.

FURTHER proof that jesus not only hates me but is actively seeking to destroy me…

I woke up this morning to find that some time in the night ghengis had gotten up and taken a series of bloody shits on the carpet.
Now, two things:
1) how did I know it was ghengis and not maddie since maddie has a history of shitting blood and ghengis does not? well, first of all, a dog owner knows her dog’s poop. I mean I hate to be graphic, but really it’s too late. Secondly, maddie has a gigantic asshole and as such tends to leave fewer but larger deposits. Ghengis has a dime slot for a butthole and that was in evidence in the um…evidence
2) what the fuck is going on that I have 2 dogs shit blood in such a short period of time? Yeah, it took me by surprise too! Then I started to think about the common factors between the two situations. They’re eating different food than they were when maddie had her episode. They play with different toys, ghengis chews hard things, maddie squeezes stuffed animals. What IS common is that they were both on Cephalexin before this happened, maddie on it for her feet and ghengis for his ear infection. I think it’s pretty safe to say that Cephalexin will cause your dog to shit blood on your carpet.
It’s pretty clear now that jesus hates me. It’s made better by the fact that I have access to borrow for free the industrial carpet cleaner with the kick ass cleaning chemicals. This thing cleans carpets in dorms for fuck sake. Anything that can clean, and survive, a dorm carpet can handle this.
it does mean I had to postpone my bbq to sunday afternoon. So, if anyone wants roasted veggie salad on grilled bread (sort of a panzanella fresca), skewered shrimp, grilled stone fruit with goat cheese and pancetta, and vanilla ice cream with grilled pineapple let me know! Sunday at 1pm. There will be beer.