So how do I juxtapose my very lazy saturday morning on my very busy saturday night. Some sort of equation is in the works, but I can’t do it. I’m math retarded. mathtarded if you will.
David’s sister Julie turned 30 this week and tonight her husband invited Mary Alice, Matt, David and I to a round of appetizers on Nicollet Ave. We started at Christo’s and ate too much and then went to Quang’s and ate too much (jesus, appetizers! too much) then over to Sebastian Joe’s (not on Nicollet, but still good good ice cream) for dessert. I had the mint chip of course (mint chip is the king of ice creams you know). We chatted for a long time and observed the most giant spider in north america rebuilding her web after the storms blew it apart this afternoon. It was fascinating to watch, she was so quick and efficient. She really was big, too. Not the kind of spider you can just kill if it shows up in your house, more the kind of spider where you throw your dog at her as a distraction before you run out the door never to return.
I adore spiders in nature (or on the exterior of urban hipster ice cream shops), but never in my house.
After eating so much and revelling in Julie’s birthday (god I love birthdays! I love celebrating birthdays with people. I love it more than celebrating holidays. A birthday is like a singular holiday bestowed on each person, you get to spend this time celebrating that person. It’s lovely. Of course, I’m the queen of celebrating my own birthday as evidenced this past June where I had birthday celebrations in one form or another for 4 nights in a row) we said a fond goodnight to Julie and Ryan and then Mary Alice, Matt, David and I went over to the Lagoon to see The Aristocrats.
I’m sorry I waited so long to see that movie. Fucking hysterical in the worst way. So horrid, so wrong, so vile and inappropriate and yet so very very right. Go see it just to see Gilbert Gottfried talking about the longshoreman’s arm.
After the movie we bade goodnight to Mary Alice and Matt and headed over to Balls Cabaret for what ended up being a nice, light performance. Nothing too drastic or out of the ordinary, nothing over the top. Couple of new people, couple of old people and a lesson in trigonometry (if somebody could explain to my why in the ‘unit circle’ we denote 0, 30, 45, 60 and 90 degrees points but we skip 15 and 75. if you skip 15 and 75 then things are uneven. Watching this lesson in trigonometry brought back memories of high school math classes and what a miserable failure I was at them, partially because I was mathtarded but also because there is a certain mindset or way of viewing these mathematical situations that just eludes me. There’s a certain, specific logic in math that I just can not grasp. I know it should not be hard, I can easily grasp rules and methods and follow directions, but I always get stuck focusing on the wrong aspects of things and that kills my math ability).
I’m home now, my belly is all oogly, i’ve spent the day gnawing on these chocolate bricks I got as a gift from Tuan when he came to my party, then I ate too many appetizers, then I had ice cream, then I had a diet coke, then I had more candy, then I had a cigarette. Now my body is telling me that I better eat the green beans in the fridge tomorrow or most of my major organs are going to evacuate and go live in another body.
If anyone wants a back up liver, one slightly used, mostly okay liver, I’ve got one looking for a new home.
Anybody wanna come wash my dishes? I’ll give you $12 and a carton of black cherry yogurt.
and, related to nothing, if Marshall makes it up here this week and we are still wallowing in our cool weather, I’m totally making my shredded pot roast in gravy on mashed potatoes! I’m itching for comfort food and I have all these chuck roasts in my freezer that need to be eaten and I can’t eat a whole chuck roast on my own. I could also make chili, I’ve revamped my recipe so it is not so concentratedly meaty but that means that I end up with HUGE amounts of chili when I am done (huge amounts of very very good chili, i might add).
and related to cooking…I would really like to make my chicken mol� again. I made it once, I started to follow Rick Bayless’ recipe, but part way through I felt his was missing a lot of ingredients (like cocoa and ground peanuts) so I retweaked it and the result was phenomenal (in my mind, at least). I’m a mol� whore!
Speaking of mol� (god, how long can this post get?) David took me to Mercado Central for dinner Friday night. Mercado Central houses a number of latino food counters and little shops. I dined on pupusas and chicken mol� for dinner. The mol� there was wonderful. Very deep and flavorful. I went to get a drink at a juice place there and navigation was hard. I only know a little spanish and what little spanish I can deal with is written down and it is quiet and I can read the words and break them down to their roots and figure them out. David can converse with the merchants in spanish, he can order our food for us and answer questions and whatnot. I went off in search ‘licuado’ (i think that’s the word, it’s like a smoothie sort of). Anyway, the place I went to (David stayed at the table, this was like my adventure) had nothing in english. The girl behind the counter spoke no english at all. She gave me a menu which was easier to read than the board, but had considerably fewer options than the big board. I sat there chewing my lip and remembering fruits and vegetables from my ninth grade spanish class. I’m pretty sure I did not get what I set out to get but I did get a combination of fresh squeezed orange juice, grapefruit juice, pineapple and lime. It wasn’t a smoothy in any way, there was no ice or anything and it was kind of warm. But it tasted good and it was the only thing on the limited menu that did not have vegetables in it. There were a million other things on the board, but I got so overwhelmed I just ordered off the menu provided.
After dinner we took a stroll down my Minnehaha falls. Here’s the thing about the falls, it’s this beautiful landmark in the heart of the twin cities, just this wonderful, natural phenomenon hidden away from all the bustle. I’ve lived here my entire life and for whatever reason, I’ve never ever seen the falls. Everyone knows about them, I’ve been to the parks near them. I live just BLOCKS from the creek that feeds them. I’ve never been to the falls. I should be ashamed. David brought me down there so I could see them. So lovely.
The funny thing about David is that he’s only lived here for like 4.5 years but he knows more about this city than I do in some ways.
Okay, it’s 3:30 in the morning. I’ve written far too much. You aren’t even reading this, just skimming for some mention of your name or some vague reference to yourself. That’s okay. I have a lot I want to write about New Orleans, but I will do it later. Or I will wait and then never write it. I always called New Orleans a dirty lady with a pretty dress. I love that city. I’m glad I got there before the destruction of the Ignatius Reilly statue, the Aquarium of the Americas, Cafe du Monde, the zoo and everything else I touched when I was there.
Goodnight New Orleans, I’m sorry you drowned.

I’ve spent the week glued to the internet news site and the streaming local news from New Orleans (i don’t have tv so i’m stuck with the interweb). Initial reports had us believing that David’s parents had lost everything. As more information comes in from actual eyewitnesses we are able to hold out more hope for their home.
Obviously their safety is more important than their belongings, but still, now that we know they are safe we can focus on the home.
There is much i want to say about the conditions in New Orleans, about the looters, the rescue operations, the response of the federal government to this.
I won’t. What’s the point? Instead I choose to focus my energy on what I can do and what I can help with. If anyone lives near enough to the affected areas, please consider donating items for children and babies. They need formula and diapers and clothes and beds. Donate money if you can, but keep in mind there is no where there where they can actually purchase these supplies. All the money in the world can’t make the supplies appear. I am in Minnesota and at this point they are unable to transport these things down there, but when they are able to I will donate these things.
David’s friend Marshall might be headed up this way. he got out ahead of the storm and now needs a place to stay. He has two dogs. I predict lots of dog related fun!
Who wants to go to the state fair with me? I need the diversion. I need a pronto pup! I need mini-doughnuts and cheese curds and ferris wheels!
I will do what I can to get party photos up. Obviously we have been distracted. It’s hard to look at the photos and see how much fun I was having just hours before all hell broke loose.
I was reminded once again that I was not to use the corporate card on cheap liquor and loose women. Apparently the corporate card is a privilege and not a free ride to sweet oblivion.