Could I be more of a spaz??

My day is all about spazziness. I hate it, but I’m also a little charmed by it. Is it wrong to be charmed by your own self? I’m not sure if I knew me if I would be irritated or completely charmed by me. I’m hoping for charmed since I am convinced I am the most charming person you know.
I oversleep this morning, which I hate to do because it just eats into my day. Luckily, it wasn’t so bad because of the time change. It was only 9:30 in real life. I keep trying to get things done, but I can’t. I’m just moving too slow.
I grab the dog and a cigarette and the phone and head outside to clear my head. I call David because he seems like the most willing victim and I sort of just ramble on and on to him about nothing. In the middle of the conversation the dog sees a rabbit in the back yard and takes off after it. The hand holding the leash is slammed mercilessly into the stair railing. Twice.
I’m yelling and crying into the phone, my hand is going numb and I am unable to form the fist I need to punch the shit out of the dog. Painful bruise forming as I type this.
I decide I need some breakfast and order David out of bed. I think to myself “I need to be over at my dad’s at 2:30 for Kit’s birthday party, I shouldn’t be late, but I’ll bring her present anyway”. Oh, yeah, it’s like 12:30, there’s no way I’ll be late! Not at all.
We head over to Victor’s 1959 cafe for plantain omelets but the wait looks to be about 2 weeks long. Dang. So over to Maria’s Colombian Cafe for plantain pancakes and omelets with refried beans! Of course everything is taking longer than expected because I am completely incapable of judging time and distance. I suck, but I drank a metric buttload of coffee (a metric buttload is .782 imperial buttloads, fyi)
At 2:20 my sister calls to say “where are you??”. It’s a legitimate question since the cake and ice cream is actually at 2 and not 2:30. Now I double suck, because not only was I going to be late, but now I am going to be ultra late.
Drop David off, head out in a blaze of flaky lateness and get over to my dad’s an hour late.
Is it wrong that my dad has really hot friends? This is the second time I’ve met one of my dad’s friends and he was way hot. What’s up with that? What’s up with my dad hanging out with guys close enough to my age to still be hot?
Good thing I brought Kit’s present with, that would have been embarassing. Coffee, tart, presents and trying not to flirt with my dad’s friend.
Home again. Had to carve the pumpkin (it’s a total lame carving job, but whatever), then get the candy ready and lure the runaway dog inside with a pig ear.
Time to make dinner. Huzzah.


My friend, Dave, emailed this to me in response to the previous post…
So – you named the puppy after a Mongol leader who is most closely associated with bloodthirstiness and barbarism.
And then you wonder why he destroyed his newest toy?
Yep, as I sit here surveying the mess that one toy can make, I sincerely regret not naming him ‘Roger’.
This week’s limited highlights in cryptic, un-ordered list goodness…
* First dates rock
* Second dates rock just a little more
* Many many many birthdays to deal with
* I’ve been sleeping too much this weekend. I’ve started feeling guilty if I sleep too late. I need to stop that.
* ‘Big Lebowski’ is still a solidly good movie. In fact, it is and ever shall be my favorite.
* I’ve been cooking more lately. Last night was veal scallopini in a lemon sauce (mmmmbutter) with roasted potatoes. Tonight is pork tenderloin with spiced pumkin goat cheese and some sort of potato, probably roasted again. If I have enough pumpkin left over i’ll make a dessert with it, but really, do we need a dessert with it being halloween? there’s a ton of candy just sitting here.
* Speaking of halloween candy, Target was WIPED OUT of their stocks, I was almost forced to buy that big mixed bag of shitty candy that no kid wants. Luckily, I found good stuff and I will avoid having my house egged again this year.
That’s all, boring week, not much going on. I’m off to get ready for a birthday then halloween dinner.

I miss you SciAm

I’m a premium member of, not that I really remember why, they piss me off all the time (I’m a liberal, I appreciate the liberal ideas, I don’t appreciate out and out bias in the same fashion they accuse the conservatives. I mean, you can be biased all you want, just dont pretend you’re not. but i digress). As a member I have get to have all these free subscriptions. I signed up with every intention of reading what I got, but I never do. I never read them.
The sad irony is that the one magazine that I do read religiously, cover to cover I don’t even have a subscription to anymore. Sigh, Scientific American, why did I ever forsake you?