Last night I related to David a situation I was in a year ago as an example of what we were talking about. I don’t think much of the situation, it doesn’t bother me so much, but I always forget that when I tell someone about it they get very upset and offended for me.
We talked about it again today, I told him how my friends always get upset by this story but I don’t. He said (and I’m distilling and paraphrasing quite a bit here, so David forgive me if it isn’t quite right) that perhaps my friends know that I can take care of myself physically, but I tend to not protect myself emotionally so they step up and do it for me.
Protecting myself physically is up for debate as I count the empty cigarette packs accumulating around me and I can calculate just how much coffee I will need to survive a day after 2 hours of sleep. As for my emotions, I will do what I can to avoid painful situations, even cutting people off before they get close to avoid the inevitable pain later, but once I’ve invested in someone emotionally I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the peace, even at my own expense (which is not to say there aren’t situation where I won’t put the smack down with a quick righteousness, but thankfully those situations are few and far between). Also, since I tend to take a harshly realistic view of myself, lots of things just can’t get me. You can’t insult me by calling my ass big if I’m the first to tell you that it is.
And here are my friends, taking offense for me, getting upset on my behalf, wanting very much to protect me and keep me safe.
And I do appreciate it, very much so.
I recognize that someone has to do it. In that vein, I am as protective, if not moreso, of all my friends. It’s my job and I take it seriously.
So, to all my friends who have over the years defended me, hurt for me, held me while I cried and called me to make sure everything was okay, I love you and I appreciate you and I’m sure I’d not have survived without you.
Unrelatedly, (or maybe relatedly, in spirit if not topic) I’ve been terribly busy lately, not had time to post or email or take calls or any of those simple things that I KNOW I am supposed to do to be a good friend and all. I am very sorry, I’m trying to rein my life in and storm track my head. Soon soon soon, things will get back on track and maybe I’ll even tell you what I was so busy with.
maybe.
Bizarre
I was just accused of humping on the couch. I’m not sure how ‘checking my email, rubbing the puppy’s belly and talking to another person’ constitute humping, but there you have it. This is the Bizarro-Dali land I find myself in every day.
I should watch Alice In Wonderland again, gotta love that Queen of Hearts in there.
For Fuck’s Sake!
Why didn’t I know about this???
Dear Planet,
I was wearing my black hoodie because I was too busy (lazy) to hang up my laundry and my shirts were all wrinkled. I am not part of any mosh related hoodie wearing coalition of dumbasses, I’m simply very busy (lazy).
Thank you
h
Jesus, I fucking went to the polls in a black hoodie, i feel like such a tardmeister. No, I don’t feel targeted or oppressed or intimidated or obstructed. No, I don’t want to send a great big ‘fuck you’ to ‘the man’. Good Christ, in all honesty, I’m like halfway to being ‘the man’, I’m all about oppressing YOUR sorry asses.
People, stop acting like there’s oppression where there isn’t! Seriously, go out and fight some real oppression and stop playing around like a progressive 70’s tv show. Go fight lamb prices! That’s where the real oppression is! The man’s trying to keep me from enjoying lamb regularly because by artificially driving the prices up.
IN FACT! I dare each and every one of you to put on some common article of clothing like say, PANTS, and go buy some beets in order to STICK IT TO THE MAN.
I hate you guys.
In other news, I voted, blah blah blah. Short lines, not bad, tasted like chicken.
Could I be more of a spaz??
My day is all about spazziness. I hate it, but I’m also a little charmed by it. Is it wrong to be charmed by your own self? I’m not sure if I knew me if I would be irritated or completely charmed by me. I’m hoping for charmed since I am convinced I am the most charming person you know.
I oversleep this morning, which I hate to do because it just eats into my day. Luckily, it wasn’t so bad because of the time change. It was only 9:30 in real life. I keep trying to get things done, but I can’t. I’m just moving too slow.
I grab the dog and a cigarette and the phone and head outside to clear my head. I call David because he seems like the most willing victim and I sort of just ramble on and on to him about nothing. In the middle of the conversation the dog sees a rabbit in the back yard and takes off after it. The hand holding the leash is slammed mercilessly into the stair railing. Twice.
I’m yelling and crying into the phone, my hand is going numb and I am unable to form the fist I need to punch the shit out of the dog. Painful bruise forming as I type this.
I decide I need some breakfast and order David out of bed. I think to myself “I need to be over at my dad’s at 2:30 for Kit’s birthday party, I shouldn’t be late, but I’ll bring her present anyway”. Oh, yeah, it’s like 12:30, there’s no way I’ll be late! Not at all.
We head over to Victor’s 1959 cafe for plantain omelets but the wait looks to be about 2 weeks long. Dang. So over to Maria’s Colombian Cafe for plantain pancakes and omelets with refried beans! Of course everything is taking longer than expected because I am completely incapable of judging time and distance. I suck, but I drank a metric buttload of coffee (a metric buttload is .782 imperial buttloads, fyi)
At 2:20 my sister calls to say “where are you??”. It’s a legitimate question since the cake and ice cream is actually at 2 and not 2:30. Now I double suck, because not only was I going to be late, but now I am going to be ultra late.
Drop David off, head out in a blaze of flaky lateness and get over to my dad’s an hour late.
Is it wrong that my dad has really hot friends? This is the second time I’ve met one of my dad’s friends and he was way hot. What’s up with that? What’s up with my dad hanging out with guys close enough to my age to still be hot?
Good thing I brought Kit’s present with, that would have been embarassing. Coffee, tart, presents and trying not to flirt with my dad’s friend.
Home again. Had to carve the pumpkin (it’s a total lame carving job, but whatever), then get the candy ready and lure the runaway dog inside with a pig ear.
Time to make dinner. Huzzah.
Perspective
My friend, Dave, emailed this to me in response to the previous post…
So – you named the puppy after a Mongol leader who is most closely associated with bloodthirstiness and barbarism.
Foreshadowing?
And then you wonder why he destroyed his newest toy?
Yep, as I sit here surveying the mess that one toy can make, I sincerely regret not naming him ‘Roger’.
This week’s limited highlights in cryptic, un-ordered list goodness…
* First dates rock
* Second dates rock just a little more
* Many many many birthdays to deal with
* I’ve been sleeping too much this weekend. I’ve started feeling guilty if I sleep too late. I need to stop that.
* ‘Big Lebowski’ is still a solidly good movie. In fact, it is and ever shall be my favorite.
* I’ve been cooking more lately. Last night was veal scallopini in a lemon sauce (mmmmbutter) with roasted potatoes. Tonight is pork tenderloin with spiced pumkin goat cheese and some sort of potato, probably roasted again. If I have enough pumpkin left over i’ll make a dessert with it, but really, do we need a dessert with it being halloween? there’s a ton of candy just sitting here.
* Speaking of halloween candy, Target was WIPED OUT of their stocks, I was almost forced to buy that big mixed bag of shitty candy that no kid wants. Luckily, I found good stuff and I will avoid having my house egged again this year.
That’s all, boring week, not much going on. I’m off to get ready for a birthday then halloween dinner.