You know you’re tired when the lady on the radio says, “The weather is supported by Seabiz…” and you spend a minutes trying to figure out how you support the weather. Do you go out and congratulate the sun? Buy groceries for the clouds? Hold an intervention for the jet stream?
Then you figure it out and you’d laugh but your face is too tired.
2 years
2 years ago I went on a date with this guy. He was sweet, smart and funny. Part way through dinner he noticed I was meticulously picking the onions out of my meal. I don’t like onions and had not realized that my choice would be so loaded with them. He offered to exchange dinners even though he was a vegetarian and my dinner had chicken in it.
“Too nice for me,” I thought. I figured if we spent enough time together he’d figure out what kind of asshole I was and stop returning my calls. On the other hand he was a really good kisser so I figured I’d ride the ride until he came to his senses.
And here we are, two years later. He’s still rectifying my mistakes, putting up with my bad habits and shaking his head at my asshole nature. He’s survived my moods, my crankiness, my dogs. He likes my cooking and my jokes and my fat ass.
I always figured I was fun for the first few months, one of those goofy chicks that are a crazy good time but not really worth it once things start getting real. For the past 2 years I could never really figure out why he stayed, why he liked me so much. I just don’t know.
But I like that he’s here and I love the way he smiles and the way he laughs and the way he lets me know that things are going to be okay.
Issues
1) why is it that in Monsters Inc Boo’s parents aren’t concerned that she is missing for a few days? Maybe they are? Maybe the alternate POV movie is Poltergeist! Closets, monsters, people going missing. Sure it seems funny from the monster’s point of view, but I bet it’s really fucking freaky from the parent’s point of view.
2) apparently this site doesn’t show up if you are using internet explorer on a pc. I did not know that. I’m assuming it’s because people using IE on a PC can’t see the site and assume there’s something wrong with it and don’t tell me. orsomething. Okay, so if anyone knows about CSS and why this might be happening, please let me know.
3) it’s my anniversary weekend and I have a cold.
The decoy maneuver
The decoy maneuver is one of Ghengis’s finest tricks. I’m incredibly proud of him for not only tricking Maddie (not hard at all) but for also tricking me. It took me a long time to figure out he was just doing this to get a place at my side, not to warn us of possible invasion.
The Scenario: I am home sick today. I’m curled up on the sofa with my coffee, my crochet projects and the Alien Quadrilogy playing. Maddie is curled up next to me. Ghengis is napping on the loveseat on the other side of the room.
The Issue: Ghengis would certainly prefer to be the one curled up next to me as I provide considerably more warmth than the blanket he is nesting in, but Maddie is already there and if he pulls the ‘Jerk Maneuver’ it will entail at least 15 minutes of roughhousing with Maddie and she still might not give up the seat.
The Solution: The only viable solution, as he sees it, is the Decoy Maneuver. The DM has Ghengis growling, hackles up and running around. Maddie will react as expected, she will get up and investigate looking for the possible interloper. She must protect the den! Maddie gets up, Ghengis takes her seat at my side, Maddie moves to the loveseat.
Possible Issues: If Ghengis is too urgent in his barking he’ll get yelled at by me to shut the hell up. If he is too subtle Maddie will switch into Blocker Mode where she presses her entire body across mine in an effort to either keep me safe or get her own protection.
Known Factors: Ghengis knows that unless there is actual angry fighting (as can happen over peanut butter, though it is entirely rare) I will not get involved in their disputes or referee for them. I don’t care how they determine pack order as long as they acknowledge I am the Alpha. Ghengis also knows that Maddie will not put up a fight for the seat as she prefers the “Hippo Maneuver” wherein she just forces her way onto Ghengis and squeezes him out.
Nobody cares
what the hell happened to me? This afternoon I was sitting at my desk all excited about what I’d had for lunch. I was fucking GIDDY after lunch.
Of course, it’s been opined that nobody cares what I had for lunch and by all rights I should not care what I had for lunch. There was a time when I got all excited by extra tequila, date night or live nude donkeys. Now i get excited by my own lunch.
What did I have? What excited me so damned much?
Salami on rye with cheddar and homemade mustard
Tomato and lettuce kept seperate until lunch
An apple
Some carrots
A cookie
Good times.
I was a little less excited to take Maddie to the vet. again. for her feet. again. This time we were told to take her to a dermatologist, that she probably has an allergy, either airborne or food related. It’s disheartening. There is no answer in site. The vet was clear, even if we go to the dermatologist it will probably take a battery of tests and a lot of trial and error before we figured out what was wrong and what to do about it.
We’re going to have to have a charity walk to raise money for her treatment.