Amen.
Man, what was I worried about? That trip was freaking amazing. I didn’t die, I didn’t get seriously injured (though I am bruised all over), I survived.
I have many stories to tell, I’ve seen the most amazing things. I had one of the most beautifully romantic moments I could have hoped for.
And I learned a very valuable lesson. I’m not just soft, city-fied and useless. I’m not slow or lazy. I’m strong, I can do hard things.
Still, though, pretty miserable in the cold rain.
more later.
Category Archives: Not here
yeah…okay…finally
Feeling better about things. Got a lot of untapped anxiety floating around that keeps trying to attach itself to things like “i will suck at camping” and “maddie will feel abandoned and freak out and hate me” and “why won’t this stomachache go away!”
so, did the dishes, talked to 8 million different members of my family, took an unreasonably long shower.
David called to assure me that things would be okay, and he promised to keep me safe.
Now, if only i could get to bed.
Be good to each other, chochachos! and like I said, if I never post again, you can assume I’m dead.
Stop punching me
Fuck.
I’m just having one of those evenings where every new moment brings stunning levels of fuckedness. All I want right now is for my dogs to calm down, for Bill’s Garden cashew chicken to arrive and to not have to run interference on what should be a non-issue since everyone is pretty much agreed on the root of the situation.
In like 36 hours I have to head out and do something i’ve never fucking done before and live in the woods and while I am excited by the potential I am ground down by anxiety. I’m well aware of how unathletic I am, of how out of shape I am. I do not look forward to being the one to fuck up this trip in some way.
gaw. I just want this whole post to be one long scream at people. I am one giant exposed nerve. It’s pms, it’s current stress, it’s having to deal with stuff from the past, it’s shuffling through my pictures trying to find something and running across a series of my cats that I lost in the divorce and the house I lost and all the things I had to change or fight or give up or shut my mouth about.
It’ll pass. tomorrow I’ll write something goofy about how stupid I am for overreacting to stuff and I’ll make a joke about things and say ‘ha ha ha I’m off to die in a place where they’ll never find my body”
And you’ll laugh too and say “that heather, she’s so crazy!”
you fucking guy
First off, Congrats to Betsy (the Betsy half of Jetsy) and her boyfriend, James on their adoption of a happy dachshund mix! They named him Gary. How great is that? Pretty great.
And a giant THANK YOU to Jessi (the Jessi half of Jetsy) for her wonderful design for my initations. When I saw them I thought I would cry. So wonderful. Everything I wanted in an invitation! People, if you need invitations designed, go see Jessi!
Another thanks to Mr Chank Diesel for providing the font. You are much loved.
I will be answering Lily’s questions soon. The first one is hard, scary to write about. It took place less than a year ago.
The gas bill fell under the bass amp. I need to pay that. When in my life did I think I would have anything fall under a bass amp?
I’m getting a lot of conflicting advice about my trip to the BWCA this weekend. Bring beer, don’t bring beer, bring the dog, don’t bring the dog, watch out for bears, bears are a conspiracy, they don’t exist anywhere except on the moon and they are made of cheese. I have put my trust in David. I figure either he knows what he’s doing or he’s gonna be stuck with me and my missing leg.
I need to write up Maddie instructions for my mom before I go. Ghengis is going to Bela’s (also Dena and Levi’s) and he’s easy enough to deal with. Maddie is more special case and needs lots of TLC. She has seperation anxiety big time and I worry about her.
I also need to vacuum. and do laundry. and do the dishes. and hire a sherpa. and pay my insurance. and get my plates put on my car. and buy wine.
I very much want to spend my time planning food for my party but I need to focus on more boring stuff first. Boring then fun, it’s the grown up way.
Okay, one responsible thing then dinner then working on questions.
EDIT
I forgot to mention!!! BEEBO! Beebo became a beautiful moth which we released today. Happy flight Beebo! Good luck to you!
Yeah…okay
Calming down a bit from the cupcake high.
It is hard to find the ultimate dog collar. You would not think this would be a hard thing and certainly, for most normal people, it’s an easy task of measuring your dog’s next, finding a semi-agreeable color and that’s that. Not for me. I have to find the ultimate cool collars for my dogs. Something that matches, good pattern, not too expensive, not too chintzy. Their new collars make them look like extras on Magnum P.I. and this afternoon I caught Ghengis yelling at Maddie, calling her ‘Higgins’ and wondering where his Ferrari was. To her credit, Maddie sat there, dignified and unresponsive, if a little miffed.
I kind of think now that I should apologize to them for these collars, but my options were fairly limited. The bulk of my options were all ‘north-woodsy’ and if you’re not from minnesota I can’t really describe it except that you have to picture log cabins and hearths and homey little places and neutrally earth tones and pine boughs. I’m pretty sure that dressing my dog up like Craig T Nelson in ‘Coach’ is a far worse sin than turning them into some guy that wears white pants with hawaiian shirts.
The Betsy half of ‘Jetsy’ and I went to Pepitos for dinner tonight. Had the chicken mol�. Not so good, not much flavor, meat was overcooked. Sad mol�, but good company and good beer so i’m far from complaining.
I get the proofs for my invites in the morning. Who’s excited? Heather is excited. I need to finish up the page that goes with the invitation then we’re good to go! Dena is my printing queen! She’s absolutely magic. I don’t need to deal with the Kinko-tards at all! (sadly, i’m also not allowed to deal with the kinky-tards, but that’s not Dena’s fault, that’s the whole “court ordered injunction” thing).
Yeah, so i had a very rough night last night. Lots of emotions and stress and rollercoastering. What I got in return was a lot of love and understanding and kindness. My heart is ever amazed.
I go camping this weekend. Oh hello. FUCK! If this site never gets updated again you will know that I was eaten by a bear. I paid for a year of hosting so it will be a while before it goes down.
Ghengis just asked to use the phone so he could call TC to get a chopper lift to the big island. We’re gonna have to have a talk.
Ghengis gets to hang out with Bela while I’m out of town. It’ll be like a magical sleepover for him.
We had tasty cool weather, but sadly it has come to an end. I had to turn the air back on today and that was sad.
Dear David, please hurry up and bring the toilet paper. and the cupcakes.
I wonder what sort of collars I could get the dogs to make them think they were on the A-team?