I feel honored and quite loved because my sister bought me the BBC documentary, Life in the Undergrowth based on just one scene of slug sex. That’s it. She saw the slicky entwinings of a pair of hermaphroditic slugs getting it on and insisted that this would be the best present ever for me. She did not even know that I’d had it on my wish list forever!
slug sex. Nothing says “I know you so well” like slug sex.
also, much more to say, not enough time to say it. later later later.
Author Archives: bubbo
oh…also
last month I got Joe Jackson and Jackson Brown all mixed up in my head (joe jackson has a higher rating of suckage).
I also get Dan Fogelberg and John Fogarty mixed up all the time. This happens because I am a retard. Remember when Lola Granola had the tattoo of Dan Fogelberg in a scandalous place on her body? Yeah, well up until about 30 minutes ago I always pictured John Fogarty and never thought about it. John Fogarty makes sense in a bad boy tattoo on the ass sort of way. The very fact that Dan Fogelberg does NOT makes sense is what is funny. I just get them mixed up all the time.
Oh, also, Dan Fogelberg died. When I read the headline I pictured John Fogarty and boy…was I confused when I read the list of famous songs. There you have it.
Also, I fixed the comments snafu! Feel free to comment…unless you are a damned spambot trying to get me to lengthen my penis and have trashy orgasms
12 days
It’s been 12 days since my last entry. Busy. Tired. Busy. Tired. Let’s just do a wiener list and get it over with
- Saw Jonathan Coulton live n the 6th. The room was the largest gathering of ADD, Aspergers, nerds, geeks and awesome I’d ever seen. His live version of Mr Fancy Pants was a billion times more awesome that the version linked. He had a pre-programmed Zendrum that said a lot of pants!
I could go on forever….his cover of “Baby got Back” “Skullcrusher Mountain” his very creepy and somehow so perfect “The Future Soon”.
But also, Neil Gaiman was at the show and sitting directly in front of me. I had no idea. I just thought he was some wiener who couldn’t put his damned PDA down. Also, but butt touched his head once. HA! (don’t take it hard, I loved American Gods even if it struck an amazing resemblance to Mieville’s King Rat) - I am in the midst of crocheting 8 million mittens! All are original designs except the skull and crossbones mittens (well, I designed the mitten and fixed the pattern on there but the skull pattern is not mine). I am down to the wire, one week left. My hand and brain hurt.
- It’s a good idea to hit the Surdyks wine sale at 8pm on the last night of said sale. There is actually room to walk around, the employees are free to help you, old ladies are not jamming their carts up your ass trying to get to the last sangiovese primitivo! But, on the other hand, it’s a bad idea. They were out of many of the things we had on our list including the Bonny Doon Pacific Rim Reisling and the Protocolo Tempranillo. Ah well, the staff pointed us to a few new selections and we got to shop in relative calm.
- My car is currently being a bitch and is on the verge of death. Asshole. I’ve been driving David’s car. It’s been interesting as I’ve only ever gotten lessons on a manual transmission from impatient people or drunk people. I’m getting better, but I wish I could put a sign on the back of the car telling people not to be a jerk to me just because I always stall at intersections. I should probably just wear a helmet and drool while driving.
- um…the dogs are good, the weather is cold, I have two pints of coffee heath bar crunch in the freezer thanks to the generosity of my awesome secret santa.
Welcome to another episode of “retarded bathroom escapades”
aaaah the retarded bathroom escapades! where would we be without them. let’s get on with today’s story, shall we…
As with most bathroom escapades, this one started with me having to pee REALLY BAD!!! I did the quick lock-kneed, clenched butt walk down the hall to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom I had to start the pee dance.
Today’s pee dance required me to lean on my right foot, kick my left leg around and sort of hop while I fumbled frantically with the front of my pants. I tried to gracefully add a hip twist to the dance feeling that the hip twist might help with the pants fumbling.
It didn’t help, but it did cause me to fall down and hit my head on the stall wall leaving it a bit bruised. I am waiting to hear back about worker’s comp!
I fell down in the bathroom because I had to pee.
where is your ass
your ass is right here.
Sometimes when I am driving I need to turn the radio up very loud or I start thinking about my fellow commuters. point. Today I was behind a large red pick up truck. The driver was a mid-20’s Caucasian male of medium build. The fun started when he pulled in front of me, that’s when I noticed his hat.
His hat was a black baseball cap turned backwards. The ‘logo’ was a large gold sparkly dollar sign ($) with large gold sparkly wreaths on either side. There was sparkly gold piping wherever there were seams. I contemplated for a long time what kind of person would purchase this hat. What are the specific circumstances in this dude’s life that led him to pick up this hat and think “this hat mirrors my value system. This hat reflects the parts of my personality that I want the public to focus on.”?
I imagine he did not think that exact phrase, but perhaps summed it up in a succinct, “Awesome!”
Speaking of awesome, we bought 160 pounds of dog food this weekend. I imagine you are wondering where one buys 160 pounds of dog food! The same place you can get your fishing licenses and giant overalls! I also bought a pig femur, pig ears and pig ankles! The dogs get a lot of pig!
You might think that 160 pounds of dog food would be the highlight of a girl’s weekend, but you’d be wrong. First off, David being mr awesomely awesomepants drove way out of the way in a snowstorm so I could get a gingerbread latte. I’m not proud, I love the Starbuck’s gingerbread latte! Then, after purchasing all that dog food (and jeans and yarn drawers and socks) we went to Nala Pak for dinner.
Now, I love me some Nala Pak (formerly Udupi), I love to go there and eat until I perforate something internal. The food is so good you could weep. The only issue I have with them, and this is such a strange issue, is their soup. Their tomato soup is described “Tomato broth which is slightly spiced to
attain exotic flavors.”. What they mean to say is “Straight up Campbell’s tomato soup with a lot of black pepper and some really cheap croûtons.” It’s so amazingly peculiar. All the other food is so amazing and they start you off with something that should be served with a grilled cheese sandwich.
Aaah, but who am I to complain? They make their mango lassis with fresh mango, the tamarind chutney is thick, sweet, sour, and spicy, and their batura make me woogly with delight.
Now I must go work on more crochet projects. Woo christmas!