Take the hungry from mah belly!

David brought home the plague from one of the booger factories he works with. So, he’s been sick, now I’m sick.
But before I got sick, I cooked! Like a maniac.
First, a coconut curry squash stew:
I used this recipe as a starting point. More garlic, less onion, no bell pepper, I used crowder peas instead of chick peas because that’s what i had on hand. Instead of curry powder I mixed up a blend of spices heavy on the cinnamon, allspice and nutmeg, along with toasted cumin seeds, mustard seeds, fenugreek, coriander, smoked spanish paprika and a bunch of other things, I also added a small dollop of red curry paste and a big dollop of mild curry paste. I also added 1/2 a squash that I got from my sister. She told me what kind it was but I can’t remember. It’s about the same color as a butternut but slightly sweeter. Big, ridged on the outside. Good stuff. Served it on rice. David put coriander chutney on his, I put tamarind chutney on mine. Even better as leftovers.
Then, squash raviolis and pork tenderloin:
I sliced the pork tenderloin open and stuffed it with a mixture of chopped garlic, rosemary, olive oil and salt. I skewered it back together and let it marinate for the day.
Apple slices were tossed with olive oil, salt and pumpkin pie spice then baked in the oven at 225 for about an hour. This was to dry them a bit but still leave them juicy on the inside.
Ravioli stuffing was made from the other half of the squash, pureed and mixed with pressed ricotta, parmesan, salt, pepper and more pumpkin pie spice (really, I was too lazy to try to make the right spice blend). Because I was feeling lazy and wanted something quick I didn’t make my own pasta. Potsticker wrappers are perfect for the cause, they are the right size and thickness. Unfortunately, they were out of poststicker wrappers at the little grocery by my house. I know from experience that wonton wrappers are too thin, so i figured I would try the eggroll wrappers cut into squares. Meh, I don’t recommend the eggroll wrappers. too thin.
Pork roast went into the oven at 325 for less than an hour. While the roast was resting I brought a pot of water to a boil. In a giant frying pan I melted half a stick of butter, tossed in some toasted hazelnuts, the roasted apples and some rubbed sage. Once hot I added the ripped up leaves of a bunch of kale and sauteed. Raviolis were cooked and tossed in the frying pan with the kale and apple mixture. Everything was mixed up, pork was sliced and everything was served.
If I were to do it again I would roast the garlic for the pork before I stuffed it in. I cook my pork to just under done, still pink, and that does not allow the temp to get high enough to cook the garlic enough to mellow it. It was good but the garlic was still too strong. And the too-thin wrappers made the raviolis difficult to manipulate once they were cooked. I have to be super careful because they broke too easily.
And for the dogs, I made liver treats!
Making liver treats for the dogs SOUNDS like such an awesome idea! They think it is awesome, they think it is the best idea you will ever have. The idea is awesome, the execution is not so awesome.
Puree one pound of raw beef liver in the food processor. Oh holy shit! You think you have seen foulness in your times! YOU THINK THIS!!! But you have not seen truly foul anything until you look at a bowl of pureed raw beef liver. Holy. Crap.
It looks like a bowl of blood flavored instant pudding! It is red! It is wobbly! It is sticky! blergh.
The nice thing about dog treats is that they are not an exact science. The end result gets fed to an animal that licks its own butt in the name of high cuisine. So, dump the Sheol Brand Instant Liver Pudding of Doom into the stand mixer bowl along with a couple eggs, a handful of flax seed meal, some olive oil and about a cup of self-rising flour.
Note on the self rising flour: I happened to have self rising flour on hand because David picked some up for me once getting it confused with bread flour. Self rising flour has baking powder, if you use regular flour then add about a teaspoon of baking powder.
Using the dough hook, start mixing the vile mess. Keep adding flour until the mass becomes less sticky and more doughy. The lesson I learned the hard way is that pureed liver has many of the same properties as epoxy glues and never stops being sticky (‘add flour until no longer sticky’ is a common instruction for me when describing making doughs. It doesn’t work for this.). Oil a pie plate well and dump the monstrosity in there. Try to smooth it out with a greased rubber spatula. It won’t work. It will stick to your spatula. Bake at 325 for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Let cool.
At this point you will realize that your entire home smells like a cross between a slaughterhouse and your grandma’s kitchen on liver and onions night. God cannot hear your lamentations anymore for he has moved on to less smelly environs.
Once the lump has cooled, slice it into 1/4 inch slices and cut those into 1 inch wide piece. spread in single layer on a cookie sheet and dry in the oven at 225 for about an hour. Your dogs will love you forever and that will probably make up for the wretched odor that permeates every molecule of your home for the next 3 days.

3 thoughts on “Take the hungry from mah belly!

  1. Blargh. Sorry you were sick. If it makes you feel any better, I was sick on Wednesday, too! WE ARE TOTALLY IN THE SICK CLUB AND GETTING BLOTTOED AT THE SICK CASH BAR.
    feel better

  2. “God cannot hear your lamentations anymore for he has moved on to less smelly environs.”
    I almost died laughing! I’m new to your blog and I love it. :)

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