Let me get this rant out of the way, then I’ll say happy things
I lost my insurance last month. Today I went to go pick up my prescriptions for the first time sans insurance. Awesome. $670 for one month. ONE MONTH!! $670!!! Fuck me.
I had to fucking order my prescriptions from Canada. Approximately 3 months of prescriptions costs me $450.
It is a disgrace, an utter shameful disgrace for this nation that all it takes is one small stumble in one’s life and they’re done for. I’m goddammed lucky, David and I have a lot of money in savings and we don’t have kids. There’s be no way we could afford this otherwise. I have to go to a different fucking country to get the medication I need? I live in one of the wealthiest nations on the planet! I live in a nation with such a GLUT of resources that more gets thrown out than consumed in any one day and yet for me to survive I have to buy medicine from a different country?
It’s immoral and it is sick and it is an outrage that this happens.
I come from a looooong line of social liberal Norwegians who FIRMLY believed that a society is only as strong as its weakest members. So long as people were poorly educated and had little to no access to healthcare then so would your society be stupid and sick.
As per usual it is so much easier to judge than to listen, so much easier to dismiss rather than learn. I fear that we as a society will never shake that Puritanical ethos that your lot in life is a direct reflection of your righteousness. It allows us to skip any responsibility towards our fellow man. “Why should we help the disadvantaged? It’s their fault. Shouldn’t I get to enjoy the benefits of my righteousness?” And no longer are we a society, we are just a dogpile of opportunists climbing over one another. hey, if I’d wanted to get to the top i wouldn’t have stumbled, would I?
It’s so frustrating to think of how easy it is for one event to completely ruin your life and there is NO SAFETY NET. There is nothing to stop a freefall. I’ve said it for years and I repeat it more often than a broken record, but as a nation we should be ashamed of ourselves. People TALK about wanting to help but when it comes to taxes, to funding that safety net that can make all of society stronger, they balk and start talking about personal responsibility and pulling yourself up by the proverbial bootstraps. Well, you know what? Some people can’t even afford the fucking boots, how are they going to pull themselves up from that?
okay, rant over. I’m angry for my situation but it is ameliorated because I know that we will get by one way or another. I know how lucky I am. I am angrier for those people who do not have access to the resources I have. Those people who were already fighting to make their paychecks last until the next, those people unable to save any extra money because there was no extra money to save. People with kids who cannot afford to work because daycare costs more than their gross pay. People who go without the medication they need because they cannot even afford Canadian prices. I’m already low-dosing myself, hoping to make the pills I have last until the ones from Canada arrive, but I don’t think I can stretch my next 5 doses into 7-10 days. The irony of course is that these meds are keeping out of the hospital, except if I stop taking them it won’t matter, I can’t afford the hospital.
ON TO HAPPY THINGS!!!!
Thursday I leave for Chicago for the Stitches Midwest yarnstravaganza!!! There will be an awesome meeting of the Pants! We even have a hotel room and everything. Hooray for drunken pantsters!!!
Also, I will be meeting people who know me through my advice column on Ravelry. I’m very excited (and nervous and scared) to meet so many new people.
Also a great big Happy Happy HAPPY Birthday to my sister April!! YAY YAY YAY welcome to 35! I’ve been keeping a seat warm for you! April has been such a strong link in my support system these last 6 weeks. I repaid her thoughtfulness and kindness by forgetting her birthday. I admit it, I suck. BUT! I am making it up to her and I want all of you to wish her a happy birthday as well!
ALSO ALSO ALSO! My pantsters (seriously, I’m sorry is you don’t know who the pantsters are, they are the awesomest people ever) worked together and they sent me care packages and love packages and reminders that though I am in a dark place now, they are still there to help me. I have been left in tears, speechless over the kindness of their words and thoughts.
It’s hard for me, I am never good at accepting true kindness. I often feel I am not worthy of the sentiments or energy since there are people who need it more than I do. But I’ve learned to just believe it is there and it is true and it is real. I am lucky to know such people.