I still owe people handmade mittens for Christmas. These are the people who know they are coming late. I am working on them. I also volunteered to be a pattern tester for someone so i need to make a sweater in the pattern. I also need to make mittens for me, remake a pair of mittens for my dad, make two other sweaters for me.
Also, I have to work on Bubbo Designs and try to write up my patterns for sale. That’s the first step. Then there are all the other steps. All of those steps will require a lot of work.
Also, also, there is the “big project” with Anna. I will go into more detail when I feel we have done enough that detailing it won’t jinx it.
And i need to clean the house, deal with some financial things, get a spring installed, get chester in for his shots, try to find a cheap vacation out of town because I really need to get out of town and away if only for a couple days.
So what I’m saying is that I’ve been busy and when I am not busy I am thinking about the things I should be doing but not doing. Then I dream that no matter what I do, I am judged for not doing the things I am supposed to do, the things I forgot to do or didn’t know about. And I wake up with an untenable sense of dread and I can’t remember what I am dreading…then I do.
And maybe I shouldn’t use my website as a therapist.

1. I am completely addicted to my graphics tablet, as you can see below. it is quite possibly the awesomest thing on the planet. As mentioned before, it has a few issues but most of those can be overcome with determination and swearing. The one thing I can’t figure out is why I can’t use it to draw freeform lines in photoshop. It won’t track the pen tip and just makes a straight line from point a to point b with none of the curves I drew in the middle. It tracks the pen tip on other things like the circle tool and stuff like that, but not freeform lines. It does just fine with freeform lines in ImageReady, which came bundled with Photoshop. Mostly I don’t mind using ImageReady, it does most everything I need to do and it easily jumps back and forth with Photoshop so I can jump into PS to do the more advanced things…BUT I downloaded some brush sets that are awesome in PS but IR can’t use them. And I want to use them, but I can’t get the program to track the pen in freeform. Sigh.
1a. David may be regretting this particular purchase.
2. The sinuses surrounding my right eye (the maximilaris, sphenoidal and ethmoidal) are completely packed with the snot of the devil himself. I also have a fever, I ache and I feel a little petulant. Fucking flu.
3. The dogs are all passed out and cute. My dogs are cute. And awesome. What BigPharma doesn’t want you to know is that dogs are the greatest cure for stress and blood pressure. When I touch my dogs I have a real, physical reaction. I can feel myself relaxing. I need these dogs probably more than they need me.
4. The Humane Society had mastiff/shar pei puppies last week. The universe teases me. The universe loves to make me squirm! The universe makes me regret not living in an old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere allowing me to have a herd of dogs (and cats and goats and chickens).
5. Now that Maddie’s health has improved so much (thank you Dr Pierce Fleming, International Vet of Mystery) she is actually active and more interested in the world. Where before all she could focus on was how much her feet hurt, now she can focus on playing with me. The other day she and I were playing Hufhuffle. Hufhuffle is a game where Maddie stands on the bed and I stand at the foot of the bed, I punch the bed and posture with fake ferocity and she rears up and tries to pounce on my hands (she’s part cat). Then I trick her by shoving her across the bed and she jumps back even more excite. The little piggy tail helicopters all over the place. If she does catch my hand she holds it down with both paws and licks it furiously. When you play with Maddie you will never feel her teeth, she’ll grab your hand in her mouth and she does it so gently that you’d think she didn’t have teeth.
The other night, while we were hufhuffling (it is so called as that is the sound she makes when we play) Chester was out in the kitchen eating. At the sound of the game he came running in and jumped on the bed. Chester has different ideas about play, he is faster and harder and has giant sharp teeth that you have to remind him not to use. He also mock-growls. Maddie does not allow growling to happen near me. As he growled and lunged at me, she jumped between and had him on his back in a split second. She holds him until he goes slack and then lets him up and chases him out of the room, but that’s not enough, she must also stand guard at the bedroom door. I distract her and call her back and we hufhuffle again while Chester finishes his dinner.
5a. There’s something almost primal that wakes up when you watch someone or something protect you. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe. I’ve said it before, Maddie’s only mission in life is to keep me safe. For a while it was hard on her because she believed I was in danger all the time. She’s come to learn that mostly I am okay and I am not going to be eaten by the other dogs at the park or swallowed whole every time I leave the house. When I take a bath she patrols the hallway outside the bathroom, she is always at my side wherever I am in the house. When she doesn’t understand something, she puts herself between me and the confusion. Sometimes she tries to figure out why David is making me yell, she investigates this with vigor and concern. It’s hard to explain to a dog that I don’t need her hippo head on my face during special time. But again, it’s hard not to appreciate her intent and her efforts. She’s punched in, on the job, doing what she does best and she loves it. her salary is belly rubs and hugs and sleeping next to me at night.
6. I also love Anna Bratton, though not in the same way in which I love my dogs, David or a good beer. Last month I asked her if she could whip up a little design to go on little cards that could be added to my handmade gifts. boom. She sends me some options, I pick the one I like and then we discuss layout and suddenly I have the identity/logo ever! I mean I know it helps that she loves dinosaurs as much as or more than I do! but still, she does it perfectly every time! That’s why when I got another idea this weekend she was the first one I called. I can’t talk about the new idea yet, it’s still in a goo stage and I’d rather wait until it firms up a but, but anyway, we talked on the phone for 20 minutes on Friday and then last night she sent me some preliminaries that were so spot on. She managed to capture the essence of everything I was going for! Let’s hear it for Anna!
6a. Bubbo Designs is something I am hoping to get together by spring so I can start selling patterns and whatnot.
6b. So now that’s 2 big projects, the second of which might require me to take a class. Combine big projects and my graphics tablet and you’ll find I haven’t crocheted in a few days.
6c. It’s fine though. I burned out over christmas. I still owe people some mittens, but they have promised patience.
7. The awesome thing about being sick is that you can recognize that you just wrote a huge amount of nothing and you just don’t care. The bad thing about being sick is that you start to wonder if it is okay to start wiping your nose on your shirt because you are too tired to get up and get some tissue (TISSUE).