Hey, Lysol!

So I’m still pissed about this whole idea that we can take something commonplace and not at all dangerous and use it to freak people out in order to make them buy our product.
Actually, I think I just described the entire history of marketing.
Dude 1: we need to sell something!
Dude 2: all I have is some ammonia and food coloring
Later: Dirt….you see it every day….it’s on your shoes, on your pants….it even surrounds the very foundation of your home. Dirt. Have you ever stopped to consider what dirt is? Dirt is the decomposed leftovers of animals and plants. Decomposition. Are you thinking about it? Are you thinking about that giant bloated raccoon carcass you saw on the way to work today? Well, one of those and many other things including worm poop and beetle legs made the dirt that is surrounding your house right now. Keep your family safe! Save your family. Your children are not worth the risk. Douse them daily in our specially formulated cleansing solution…..
oh, right, also….Fuck you Lysol.
In the spirit of open honesty, other people’s fingernails freak me out. I see them as a hotbed of germ production. But, it’s not like I’m mindfucking the public over it.

4 thoughts on “Hey, Lysol!

  1. Right there with you. There are several studies (of which I have no proof) that suggest that irritable bowel syndrome is on the rise in kids because we are disinfecting their environments too much, and when their gut encounters new germs, it doesn’t know what to do.
    I once caught my daughter chewing on mulch. She also ate either dirt or cat poop when she was about a year old. I don’t think I need to worry (too much) about IBS with her.

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