Solutions

you know those guys who hit mid life, get all upset, buy hair plugs and a red convertible? you know the premise, middle age, waning penis, waning hair line, mounting regrets? Okay.

Robert Zemeckis
. Easily one of the worst offenders of the mid life freak out or ‘crisis’ if you will. His ‘crisis’ seemed to have started earlier than most, but the premise is pretty much the same. His penis was waning, he started spending obnoxious amounts of dollars on excess and hair plugs a while ago. the thing with this sort of freak out related excessive spending of resources is that it all smacks of cheap desperation and mostly just makes everyone feel embarrassed for him.
Of course there will always be that group of people who think he’s awesome.
The final sin and some recent news has sent my brain a-spinning with solutions. Robert, the next time you have the urge to dump too much money into another red convertible consider doing something more useful.
Take that money and donate it to the women of Saudi Arabia. Buy them guns, bullets and lessons so that the next time anyone even suggests that they be punished for being the victim of a brutal attack they can blow the balls off anyone who tries.
Then they can spread around the world helping their oppressed sisters.
Once we get that taken care of, they can sell the guns and donate the cash to another group. My suggestion would be a group that could create the universe’s biggest megaphone and then take it back in time to send a message to W reminding him that even if a dude speaks English and maybe smells nice, he can still be a brutal anti-democracy dictator. On this final point I accept that we won’t succeed. I know that no matter how many people can see that Musharraf is an international dink, Bush will still call him ‘friend’. Dinks of a feather and all that I guess.
ah well, i’m off to amuse myself with yarn and hooks…..and brains