The retarded hillbilly

To those of you who have emailed me to try to explain dimensions, time, simultenaity (or the lack thereof), and everything else in response to the previous post, I thank you. I appreciate your efforts and I do apologize.
I just don’t get it.
I can understand all kinds of crazy bullshit. I can name my gecko Chicken, I can dye my hair pink, I can accept that a pint of Haagen Dasz is 4 servings (bastards) but when you say to me that there is no way at all to determine that 2 stars went supernova at the same time, I’ll be all “you’re crazy! of course there is! There’s no reason why they can’t”.
Then we’ll talk about rubber balls, moving trucks, mirrors, the doppler effect and the fact that I failed high school algebra. Twice.
This is a warning to all of you….don’t respond! Just don’t. I will drive you out of your mind. You will spend a week telling your friends about how crazy I am. I once drove a physics professor to absolute distraction because I would not accept that time slows down as you go faster unless he could give me a reasonable explanation that did not boil down to a matter of how you perceive light particles, because the way I see it, the way you perceive light particles does not slow down the wrinkling process.
I know this is true because if it could they’d have bottled it and sold it at the drugstore.
I just cannot accept that perception alters reality because there are some truly fucked individuals out there and I do not want them messing with my reality.
oh, also, I made homemade butternut squash ravioli last night, served them with apples sauteed in brown butter, garlic and sage. I love fall cooking. Recipe soon.