Curriculum Vitae

Who’s the orc in charge of design and development for Saurumon? You can’t just say “make helmets” and have 10,000 helmets made that look the same. Someone has to draw the helmet and say “make this helmet” to all the helmet makers. Same with armor. Then you’ve got things like that wolf shaped fiery battering ram. Some orc sat down at a flat drawing surface and took some nice charcoal pencils and thick paper and drew it out. Not like some 7th grade boy drawing his fantasy weapons in his notebook when he’s supposed to be learning about the intricacies of the Teapot Dome Scandal. No way, this orc has skills! Design skills! He has to make it look good AND figure out the functional specs for it. What will it be made of? What will they burn in it to make the best and most fearsome fire but that won’t burn out too quickly? How will the handles be positioned so that the uruk hai or goblins can carry it most efficiently and without getting burned themselves.
Somewhere there is an orc with a design degree, maybe even an engineering degree. Where do orcs go to college?
And do they have cram sessions?
Anyway, spent the day with Lord of the Rings playing in the background while I sat on the phone with the insurance company and tried to deal with stuff. I comforted myself by cooking a roast in the crock pot and making rice and gravy and asparagus. Comfort food even on such a humid day.