Met with the orthopedic surgeon today, got my x-ray and everything. Damn woman! She’s all grabbing my wrist and bending it around and jabbing her fingers into it. Does this hurt? Well, yes, as a matter of fact it does fucking hurt. You’re jamming your goddammed fingers into an unnatural growth in my body!
Yeah, you know that twisting? The pulling? that hurts too!
Actually, she was pretty cool about it. Scheduled surgery and got everything all set up. Neat? Yeah.
The shitty part about this is that I will have to forego the 666 birthday party. Shit. This sort of thing happens once in a…I don’t know, a century? Well, suffice to say I’ll not be around or in a partying sort of mood the next time it happens.
Is it totally wrong to reschedule your surgery so you can have a party? Seriously? Because I was really looking forward to this. I wonder if this has anything to do with my mom and her praying. MOM! Did you pray me out of my apocalyptic party?? DID YOU??? Don’t you forget I’m gonna be picking out your nursing home!
Shady Acres Rest Home or Square Peg in a Round Hole Home for Delinquent Seniors? Your choice, mom…your choice. Stop praying me out of my hell-themed birthday parties.
hmmmm early surgery or good birthday party…
oooh, also I learned that I lost the statistics game with this damned cyst. It seems that if you have one and you have it removed there is only a 20% chance of getting another one. If you beet the 80% and get your second cyst and have it removed then you’re pretty much assured to get them forever. Or something like that. Me, I’m the statistical freak!
and now, I will leaver you to ponder this…is it really so wrong to drink beer and watch your dog try to hump a pillow? is it? (no, I didn’t actually let him)

Today I managed to cram all of my calories into one 3 hour period at the end of the day. That’s the really healthy way to do it, right? Skip food all day then at the end of the day shove as much high calorie food in and then go to bed! It’s a great plan.
Today the dreary grey got the best of me. I slept too late, moved too slowly, got distracted. Took me almost 3 hours to do the dishes and clean the kitchen. It should have took me no more than an hour but I kept wandering away, staring off into space…being useless.
After sleeping too late I decided to make my americano and get the dishes done before I made food (or sent david off to get some), but the dishes took so damned long.
By the time I finished it was dinner time. Trying to be a pleasant and lovely girlfriend I decided to make a nice dinner for david before he went out of town (but also I was slow and lazy so it couldn’t bee too extravagant). Sesame crusted tofu with stir fried veggies in a fermented black bean and leftover flat Kristian Regale sauce (it was good! don’t you wrinkly your nose at me!).
Two giant plates served up and then we remember we hae to meet Dean and crew after their Fool Fest show at Mickeys Diner. Damn. You can’t go to Mickeys without getting at least a banana malt.
I’m fat for a reason, people, and that reason is a large banana malt and a plate of fries not 3 hours after a large dinner.
David leaves tomorrow for a few days. My plan whenever I am left alone (as I have this habit of living with people who eat way healthier than I do. You know those women who date guys with problems because they want to fix them? yeah, I’m the opposite. I’m the one dating healthy people so I can ruin them.) is to get massive amounts of bbq carry out and pig out in a slovenly manner. That’s just monday. After that I am hoping to make a couple batches of jam and maybe a batch of lemon cheese.
Woo, let’s hear it for the chica who know how to live it up!!!!

cj and peepee09 (and any other former pucer)! I need you to email me when you get a chance.
Thanks.
ps sorry to the rest of you, but I don’t have their emails.