That’s quite a grudge

Yesterday I was tasked to go to the library and get some movies. I never go to the library. I never go and I try to tell people, in English words, why I cannot go to the library…”I am completely and totally incapable of returning items”. I don’t know why this is, I really don’t, but I seriously cannot return things to places like the library or Blockbuster or whatever.
No one ever believes me, either! They always counter with “but it’s easy” or “convenient” or “you just have to drop it off”. It’s really not a matter of ease or convenience, the library is 6 blocks from my house, it’s incredibly easy and convenient. There is just some mental block in my head, i am incapable of returning things. I just don’t do it.
So yesterday, against my protestations, I was sent to get movies from the library. I went and had to go through the ordeal of switching from a hennepin county library card to a minneapolis public library card (she also would not listen to me, I tried to explain it was not worth it for me to get a new card, I’ll never use it. I think my problem with the library is that it puts in me in a number of situations where nobody will listen to me). While she’s messing with the beeping computer and I am constantly repeating my phone number to her because she mistyped it I am also helping the happy asian family next to me use the auto-checkout (they kept scanning the wrong bar code).
Finally, the librarian lady, acting all confidential and embarassed for me prints out a piece of paper that shows I have a previous fine.
I’m wracking my brains, when did I last have a minneapolis public library card???
12 years ago!!!
Yes, back in 93 or 94 I checked out a book and, true to form, never returned it. I had a $30 fine. $30. It was more than the book was worth I’m sure. I didn’t even remember the book or checking it out.
So this is it, this is my severe mental defect. I cannot return things t the institutions from where I borrowed them. Blockbuster owns my soul for all the late fees I’ve paid them, the library got a $30 check from me for a book I don’t even remember.
Netflix seems to be working out okay for me, for now, but that won’t last.