The Little Things

So I’ve been crabby the last few days. Hmm, not so much crabby as “foul, dark clouded mood that will consume you”.
SO I get up this morning and decide to get coffee. Coffee boy is extremely enthusiastic which makes me happy. A triple shot americano will really put you in a good mood!
Later, I’m at work and nothing can get me down even though my hands are shaking and I can’t type. Then a coworker tells me that she has a present for me. FOR ME??!!
I ask her if it’s a midget on a leash, cuz, man, you can get so much done with one of those. I’m a little dispappointed when she says it is not.She runs out to her car and comes back with a bag. I point out that this is too small for a midget on a leash (unless it is a very small midget).
It’s not a midget, but a Nerf gun that shoots green Nerf balls!! How perfect is that. Now everyone is pissed at her for giving me the Nerf gun and I’m running around shooting people in the balls with my Nerf gun!!
The best thing is I can run around saying things like “Reach for the sky, asshole” and “Stay off the furniture, MOTHERFUCKER!!”. Of course, I use these phrases in different situations, the guy at the liquor store would have been confused if I had told him to stay off the furniture.
Also, I was thinking about adding comments on here. I’d ask you what you think, but I don’t have the comments set up for you to easily communicate that to me. Hmm, maybe just email me what you think. On one hand, it’s nice to get feedback, on the other it would be kind of depressing to not have any feedback.