I get to see the coolest shit sometimes.
I am currently watching the mating rituals of some chickadees outside my office. Who gets to see this kind of stuff?? Me!
The boy chickadee hops stiffly in a circle. Hopping stiffly enough, he has proven to his special lady friend that he can supply her with a season’s worth of beetles, berries, and birdseed from the bird feeder 4 feet away from them. The girl chickadee feels his offer is adequate and expresses this by hopping onto a branch and shaking her ass furiously.
We can learn a lot about the college sorority girl by studying the common chickadee.
The boy jumps on her back and they bounce for a second and he falls off. They do this repeatedly untli his payload is deposited in the First National Bank of Cloaca, Chickadee branch.
They finish up and fly over to the bird feeder where he presents her with a lovely dinner for two.
I need to call the Audubon Society.