The new year

Last year started horribly. Just like that. From a few hours before the countdown, things went to hell. The year started with the biggest shakeup of our relationship. It started on New Years Eve, and was not the way you want to ring in the new year. Still, in the midst of this personal turmoil I found myself with the first of many bladder infections I would pick up this year.
Early in the year, Jen had to have a major operation and the stress prior to and the effort in the recovery afterward left me dazed and useless to my friends.
I did not get pregnant as planned.
I met a number of assholes over the year.
But things got better.
We took a long hard look at our relationship. Evaluated it and made necessary changes. We celebrated our 9th anniversary this September and I have no doubt that we will be celebrating many more. Many thanks go out to my closest friends who helped share the burden of this trying time.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my bladder infections are psychosomatic as they only show up during stressful times. Of course, once I realized that, I went and lost my voice. You can’t have it all, I guess.
The surgery was a tough time for both of us, but Jen is now 300% healthier than she was before. I have to tell you, though, nothing in the world prepares you for either the sight of the one person you love completely being rolled away into the operating room, or seeing her in obvious post-op pain. I am glad to close the book on this chapter.
This newfound health brought us more travel. We became more impulsive and found ourselves in Colorado at 3am watching the stars in the velvet sky as a tow truck driver hoisted my car onto his truck. I saw the desert and the ocean and faces carved into mountains.
No baby this year. This was the hardest decision to make. Harder even than the decision to have a baby in the first place. We realized we weren’t ready. I turn 30 in June and I live in fear of my biological clock. It doesn’t get quieter just because you’ve decided to wait. In place of a baby, we purchased furniture and filled up the photo albums with pictures of the cats. This may sound like I regret the decision to not have a baby, but that isn’t the case. I still have a few more years and as I posted before, Amsterdam is calling my name.
I met a lot of assholes this year and if you are reading this and wondering if you are one of them, perhaps you were. In addition to the assholes I also met some very good friends. Ethan, Nate and Jason are among those I’ve met in person. I’ve cut some dead weight and become more selective about those I keep close by and I’m happier for it.
This last year taught me to try harder, be patient, and stick to my guns when necessary. It started out terribly, but it turned out to be one of the best years ever.
2003 started out with PMS and tears, but nothing terrible. I look forward to this year and I wish you all (yes, all 18 of you) the best of luck!