Monthly Archives: April 2002

My vacation

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-The first in an endless series
We are planning a long vacation for this summer (details to be provided later for you stalkers out there). One of the stops is New York City and of course, being tourists we are going to see the Statue of Liberty.
Some lamentations were made that the actual inside of the Statue is closed so you cannot climb up inside her and look around at the world from inside her coppery cranium.
There is no lamentation on my part, she didn’t come equipped with an elevator. So fuck that! it’s like 800,000,000 stairs to get to the top. I’ll stick around outside and I’ll just look up her skirt at those hefty panties of freedom.
It will be the Ultimate Upskirt for Freedom!

Geek Suckah

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Yes, I am a geek. I finally admit it. The new issue of Scientific American came to my door today and in every issue they have a section called “50, 100, 150 years ago” where the have blurbs from Scientific American issues from 50, 100, and 150 years ago (aptly named, to be sure). In this issue they had 50, 100, 150 MILLION years ago!!! It was hysterical. Fake little articles about whales moving back into the sea, massive meteor showers, and a patented invention intended to rid the world of trilobites called “Trilo-B-Gone”. I laughed, I sighed, I declared my love for Scientific American all over again. I tried to explain it to others and i was met with blank stares. You guys don’t understand, this is really funny! Don’t you get it? Whales didn’t CHOOSE to evolve back into the oceans!!!! Sauropods were never on the moon! And the great Permian extinction of the trilobites wasn’t caused by a pest repellent!
Um… Right…. go back to your Barney Miller reruns, I’ll just sit here quietly.

Memory

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The goldfish swam to the top. “I don’t recall you ever feeding me.”
She turned her head. “There is much you don’t remember.”