A Reason to Kill:

The underlying odor near my desk became a smell, then a reek, then and overwhelming stench. Back when it was an odor, I thought it was a misplaced miso soup cup that hadn’t been thrown away. As it got worse, I realized that even miso at it’s worst could not possibly smell like this. Upon further investigation, I discovered that the drinking fountain near my desk had become clogged at some point before someone tried to dump a latte in there 2 weeks before. Wanna know what a rotten latte smells like? Go kill a raccoon and a squirrel. Shove the squirrel up the raccoon’s ass and place it in 2 Hefty SteelSak garbage bags, seal well and place in the sun. After 4 weeks, go cut the bag open and breathe deeply. Don’t like the smell? Well, it isn’t anywhere near as bad as the smell that came out after they took the drinking fountain apart and started to snake out the plumbing in hopes of clearing the clog. No such luck. People tried to be helpful, one person even installed an automatic air freshener that dispensed the Tim Burton version of roses into my air (along with god only knows how many chemicals). I sat in a nasal wonderland of rotten latte, sewer gas, and Chemi-Rose. The drain isn’t fixed but the smell is waning (a little).


I was just handwriting something and I wrote the ‘S’ backwards! Just shoot me now and get it over with.
On a similar note, I am constantly typing ‘I’ and ‘O’ in place of their numerical equivalent.


Watched the NBC show ‘Ed’ last night. I was so entranced by boredom that when I had to vomit in disgust over the lameness of the show, I forgot to open my mouth. As a result my brain is covered in chunks of homemade chicken pot pie.